[Verse 1] I have packed my little weather In a mouth that will not close Put my name back in my jacket Told my hands to let it go But the path is full of clover Low green teeth after rain Every step becomes a garden Every garden says your name I am trying to be merciful I am trying to be done Trying not to turn the ending Into something with a gun But the bluebells hide from me now Like they heard what I became Little violet witnesses Bowing out of all this blame [Pre-Chorus] I have rehearsed the leaving Till the doorway knows my face But grief has learned my footsteps And keeps growing in their place [Chorus] I have to walk away now But my body won’t agree Every road grows clover Every exit turns to green I have to walk away now But the hurt still knows my name I keep leaving in the doorway And arriving back the same [Verse 2] There is a Pegasus above me White wings bruised with rain My muse keeps making circles Over everything I can’t explain It wants to turn the wreckage Into something I can use Wants to make a songbird Of the hand that lit the fuse But I don’t want another symbol I don’t want a cleaner wound I want my feet back from the clover I want the sky to tell the truth I want to stop wanting Without making wanting bad I want to miss you gently But I miss you like I’m mad [Pre-Chorus] And I have cursed the weather Till the storm ran out of sound Still the roots keep spelling something Underneath the flooded ground [Chorus] I have to walk away now But my body won’t agree Every road grows clover Every exit turns to green I have to walk away now But the hurt still knows my name I keep leaving in the doorway And arriving back the same [Bridge] I am not your villain I am not your saint I am just the ruined field Trying not to call you fate I am not your friend now Not the way I used to be But some small starving part of me Still puts out cups for tea I hate how much I don’t hate you How the anger will not stay How it softens at the edges When your ghost walks through the rain The bluebells will not look at me The Pegasus won’t land Even magic keeps its distance From the mud around my hands So where does the leaving happen If the body keeps the score? Where do I put the almost When it keeps opening the door? [Final Chorus] I have to walk away now But my body won’t agree Every road grows clover Every exit turns to green I have to walk away now But the hurt still knows my name I keep leaving in the doorway And arriving back the same I have to walk away now But the roots are in my mouth I keep facing toward the ending And still cannot walk south [Outro] There is a Pegasus above me There are bluebells in retreat There is clover where I stood too long And mud around my feet I have to walk away now I have to, so I do Almost. Almost. Not yet.
