[epic fanfare with trumpets] [Verse 1] It’s a game of whack-a-mole, I swear I can’t win New number every hour, let the madness begin Buzzin’ in my pocket like a mosquito swarm Another “urgent offer” that I’m forced to ignore A dozen times a day or maybe even more “Spam Risk” lighting up like a knock at my door Text says, “Hey friend, can we send you some dough?” Yeah right buddy… hard no. [Pre-Chorus] I don’t want your services, take a hint, get lost Every single second’s got a hidden cost I can barely pay my rent as it is today So take your shady deals and just go away [Chorus] Stop soliciting me! Stop calling to sell me! Stop flooding up my email spam! Leave me alone, leave me alone Quit blowing up my phone!! The only okay Spam comes in a can Fried up salty—kinda bland But your robocalls? Man… they’re outta hand [Verse 2] Different voice, same script, same tired lines “Act now! Limited offer!” yeah, I’m doing just fine Some AI bot or a dude overseas Either way you’re not getting a dime from me You spoof a number like you live next door But I’ve seen this trick about a thousand times before You think I’ll answer if you change the code? Nah—I’m blocking that road [Pre-Chorus] Every ring’s a gamble, every ping’s a trap You’re the background noise in my sanity gap If persistence paid, you’d be billionaires But all you’ve done is make me swear [Chorus] Stop soliciting me! Stop calling to sell me! Stop filling up my inbox spam! Leave me alone, leave me alone Stop trying to reach me on the phone!! The only okay Spam is lunch meat, yeah Even that’s just “meh” at best But your nonstop calling? I detest [Bridge – Breakdown / comedic ramp-up] STOP—at breakfast STOP—at night STOP—while I’m just trying to live my life STOP—during dinner STOP—at work STOP—this digital network JERK I don’t need loans I don’t need deals I don’t need crypto “guaranteed yields” I need some peace I need some quiet Not another robo-dialing riot [Final Chorus – Big finish] Stop soliciting me!! Stop calling to sell me!! STOP ALL THE NONSENSE SPAM!!! Leave me alone, leave me alone STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE!!! I know you’re AI or somewhere far away But you won’t get my business—no chance, no way For the love of all that’s good—just drop! STOP! STOP! STOP!!!
