[Verse 1] Grandma’s in the kitchen with her holly-print coat, Stirring up a mystery in a bubbling pot she wrote. Last year she almost got trampled by a deer on the snow, Now she’s humming little threats like, “Rudolph better go slow.” [Pre-Chorus] She ties her apron tight, lifts her ladle like a sword, The family’s whispering, “Oh Lord, oh Lord…” She winks and says, “Relax, it’s only veggies in the stew,” “But Santa doesn’t need to know that’s true.” [Chorus] It’s the Reindeer Roadkill Ragu, The dish that makes the North Pole stop and choose. Every kid’s like, “Grandma, what did you do?” And she just grins, “Guess the ingredients… if you dare to.” Reindeer Roadkill Ragu— A Christmas joke that went a little too far, Now Santa circles low like a cautious shooting star. Reindeer Roadkill Ragu, Oh Grandma, we believe you… not at all. [Verse 2] Up in the sky, Santa’s sleigh starts to shake, Rudolph sees the smoke and slams the magical brake. Dasher hides behind a cloud, Donner wants to flee, They swear they smell revenge in that steam rising free. [Pre-Chorus] Grandma sets the pot down—Santa lands with a thud, He’s sweating through his suit, whispering, “Not my herd, bud…” She taps the lid gently with a mischievous smile, “You’ve been reckless, Santa—let’s talk for a while.” [Chorus] It’s the Reindeer Roadkill Ragu, The dish that made the reindeer panic in the flue. Santa’s trembling like, “Tell me it’s not true…” Grandma laughs, “Relax, big guy, it’s just a little holiday stew.” Reindeer Roadkill Ragu— A spicy little warning wrapped in cinnamon cheer, Santa swears he’ll drive slow for the rest of the year. Reindeer Roadkill Ragu, Only Grandma could cook up Christmas fear. [Bridge] Then she lifts the lid—carrots, beans, and thyme, Santa drops to his knees, “Oh thank heavens, they’re fine!” Rudolph peeks out, blinking snowflakes from his eyes, Grandma says, “Next time brake before you fly.” [Final Chorus] Reindeer Roadkill Ragu— Now Santa’s laughing as he grabs a bowl or two. Rudolph takes a sip, says, “This is actually good…” Grandma bows, “That’s the Christmas spirit, dude.” Reindeer Roadkill Ragu, From a kitchen joke to a North Pole delight, Serving peace, laughs, and veggies tonight. Reindeer Roadkill Ragu, Only Grandma could save Christmas so right.
