Kein Kaffee für Dave

[Spoken Intro] „Meine Damen und Herren… ein Drama des Alltags, bitter wie kalter Kaffee. Ein Mann, ein Traum… und ein leerer Topf. Ja—so beginnt jede Tragödie.“ [Verse 1 — Dave’s Lament] Dave creeps into the kitchen, with a hopeful little sway, dreaming of that morning potion that begins his jazz‑filled day. But the pot is dry and silent— not a drop to be brave… Oh, the tragedy, the cruelty— no coffee left for Dave. [Verse 2 — Enter Tobbie, the Thief] For Tobbie came before him, with a grin both sly and hot, he poured the final cup out and never filled the pot. He slurped it like a villain in a smoky cabaret cave— and left behind the emptiness that now torments poor Dave. [Chorus — Cabaret Waltz] Ohhh, kein Kaffee für Dave, kein Tropfen, der ihn rettet! Tobbie trank den letzten Schluck und hat den Topf nicht wettet! The band strikes up a tango, the audience misbehaves— for nothing’s more dramatic than no coffee left for Dave. [Bridge — The Emcee Laughs] The lights go red, the curtains shake, the pianist hits a minor break— “Refill the pot?” Oh heavens, no! Tobbie simply had to go. He left the scene, he left the stain, he left Dave in caffeine‑less pain— a tragedy fit for the stage, a caffeinated Weimar rage. [Final Chorus — Big, Bitter, Theatrical] Kein Kaffee für Dave! The gods are most unkind! For Tobbie drained the final drop and didn’t even mind! So raise your cups in sympathy— or better yet, go save a fresh‑brewed pot of mercy for the soul of poor, poor Dave.