I smile like it’s easy Like nothing hurts In my world, it’s “fine” Always “fine” I meet everyone with respect And they call me “good” I keep my words on a leash So I don’t cut anyone open So I don’t start a fire But tell me If I never push back Do I still have a shape? Is it kindness Or quiet surrender? Am I doing it right by listening first always? Am I truly who I am Or only what they need? Am I an original Or a mirror that learned to speak? If you want something I say yes Before you finish the ask I give like it gives me meaning Like it fills the day My wishes stay in the back seat Seatbelt on I never reach for what I want As if wanting is a crime And I wonder Is it humble Or am I hiding? Is it peace Or fear in perfect makeup? Is it kindness Or quiet surrender? Do I deserve to ask For anything back? Am I truly who I am Or only what they need? Am I an original Or a shadow with good manners? I’m first to the place Where help is needed I ask for nothing I just show up I want to be useful Not even loved But there’s a hollow growing in me And I don’t understand it I was raised on warnings: “Be good, be right” But who decides what “right” even means? I still feel punishment Waiting in the room Quiet And patient Is it kindness Or quiet surrender? Is it easier To want nothing at all? Does life make sense When it’s steered by applause When my reason to continue Depends on someone else’s reward? If I say “no” Will I disappear? If I say “I need” Will you leave? I’m tired of earning air Tired of being safe I want to take up space without begging forgiveness Is it kindness Or quiet surrender? Tell me I’m allowed To want and still be good I am more than what they need More than a role I play I’m an original Even if my voice shakes Even if my voice shakes Give me a sign Any small direction Am I okay Or not worth wanting and being? Give me hope My steps are pointed somewhere true Toward a day I understand And finally accept me
