“STOP CASTING FIREBALL” [Verse 1] We sneak through halls, torches low Rogue says, “Quiet—real slow, real slow” Cleric’s praying, paladin kneels Wizard grins like, “I got ideals” We hear a click—trap on the floor Wizard yells, “I CAST—” NO— [Chorus] STOP CASTING FIREBALL WE’RE IN A TINY ROOM There’s WOOD. There’s GAS. There’s us IN HERE TOO STOP CASTING FIREBALL That goblin had 4 HP You vaporized the loot And half of the party [Verse 2] Ranger’s aiming, perfect shot Wizard says, “Nah, I got this—HOT” Boom goes the cave, boom goes our plan Boom goes the cleric’s only hand Paladin’s armor’s glowing red Wizard says, “Relax, I aimed ahead” Ahead of WHAT? The future? Time? My eyebrows just retired [Chorus] STOP CASTING FIREBALL IT’S A SOCIAL CHECK We’re TALKING to the king You just nuked the deck STOP CASTING FIREBALL That was NOT a threat You turned negotiations Into a war crime set [Bridge – Spoken / Chant] Wizard: “It solves most problems.” Party: “IT CREATES NEW ONES.” Wizard: “Area of effect though.” Party: “SO IS PRISON.” [Verse 3] Dungeon boss monologuing slow We’re learning lore we didn’t know Wizard yawns, checks spell slot count “Guys… hear me out—” DON’T YOU DARE— Fireball echoes, roof caves in XP’s nice but so’s our skin Wizard says, “Worth it, trust” We’re rolling death saves in the dust [Final Chorus] STOP CASTING FIREBALL READ THE DAMN ROOM There’s HOSTAGES AND A BABY OOZE STOP CASTING FIREBALL WE GET IT—you’re strong But someday you’ll miss And we’ll ALL be gone
