(Verse 1) Sage is burning in the living room She’s channeling the spirits, predicting doom "Bright blessings, darling!" with a peaceful smile But she’s packing venom and a lot of bile Don't touch her crystals, don't cross the line The earth-healing mother is a ticking mine! At the wedding reception, the tension grew Someone ate her pizza and the goddess blew! (Chorus) Welcome to the madhouse, the family tree! A circus of dysfunction for the world to see! Yeah, we’re all unhinged, we’re all insane Just another link in the crazy chain! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Verse 2) Brother’s been writing since ninety-four Thirty years later, he’s on chapter four! Took six years off just to find his muse Now he’s trapped in a cage that he didn't choose The ball and chain has got him under her thumb Can't even text or the hammer will come! Five weeks of part-time, he’s back on the clock Now he only calls me just to bitch and knock! (Chorus) Welcome to the madhouse, the family tree! A circus of dysfunction for the world to see! Yeah, we’re all unhinged, we’re all insane Just another link in the crazy chain! (Bridge) [Fast, aggressive drum roll] Pizza Gate! Pizza Gate! Watch her explode! Under the thumb, watch his brain erode! "How are you doing?"—he never asks me! Just a black hole of pure misery! One, two, three, four! (Guitar Solo - Fast and messy) (Chorus) Welcome to the madhouse, the family tree! A circus of dysfunction for the world to see! Yeah, we’re all unhinged, we’re all insane Just another link in the crazy chain! (Outro) Bright blessings to you all! Watch the empire fall! Pizza Gate! No text back! We're a total wreck! [Feedback and sudden stop]
