[Verse] I am an apostle of common sense 300 pounds can hardly walk My finger tips are white and dusty I'm climbing on a piece of chalk [backgroun singers] He's climbing on a piece of chalk! [Verse] For sixty two years I caused my trouble I died just before the second world war But I saw the whole thing coming What didn't y'all listen to me for? [backgroun singers] What didn't y'all listen to Chesterton for? [Verse 3] It's fare thee well, i have just finished my autobiography I still have never written five volumes on the neglect of cheese [background singers] Five whole volumes on the neglect of cheese [Verse] I am an apostle of common sense 300 pounds I lie in bed I have two brooms with which I'm painting Aspinall drips on my head [background singers] Aspinall drips on his head
