Life Veteran [2nd Place SSC6, Netherlands]

/////////////////////////////////////// To all the fighters out there... lay down your sword, rest, you fought long enough! ////////////////////////////////////// I’m a life veteran, most of my life, I’ve spend fighting... I fought the bullies that chased me and called me names. I fought the bosses who told me I wasn’t good enough. I fought the father that decided I wasn’t worth the effort... I fought to get things I didn’t need... I fought for justice no one cared about... I fought so much, that it was no longer about the thing I was fighting for... I taught myself to like it. It’s really hard to stop doing something you’ve become so good at... A conflict artist... A disagreement virtuoso.... A rivalry sommelier... (keep fighting) (keep fighting) (keep fighting) I would have fought the outside world forever, but my sword became too heavy for me to raise... And I’m just so enormously tired of running up that hill... My body, it aches, because there’s no tending to the wounds when the next war is around the corner.... And even now... there is still a fight, but this fight’s inside the house and the one I’m fighting is me... Fighting my bruised, f@t, vgly, weak body and mind, Fighting the idea that... I truly might not be good enough... or worth the effort... I’m fighting me... and I’m losing... Because the other me is just as good at fighting... He trained along side me... Maybe... maybe he was always better... [choir backing] (oooh) He knows all my weaknesses and fears... He knows where all the skeletons are buried... He knows every argument, before I make it. And he knows exactly when I doubt... He knows me, like I know myself and he falls for none of my bvllshlt... he scares me... ...I... I scare me... [instrumental] Because for the first time in a long time,... I feel like I have no fight left in me... I look at the battle ahead of me and think I’ve already lost... I think this dented meat armor won’t just not survive another war, but that simply existing is wearing it down. I’m starting to believe this useless thing I have become... is all I’ll ever be... This is the point of a poem or story where there would be a turn or twist ... and I wished I could end this like an action movie: A movie where the hero pulls his sword one last time... and runs into the storm to be victorious, but it wouldn’t be real... [piano solo][sad piano][drop][arpeggios] I feel more like the veteran in his wheelchair: Broken and Traumatized by the wars he fought in... Trembling, weak and worn out, but also dreaming back to the glory days he still had the fight in him,... the days he was someone,... something.... Back when existence was a rush!... I dream of war,... because I can no longer live in peace. [orchestral build up][loud][cello][strings] [emotional build up] I dream of war,... because I can no longer live in peace. I dream of war,... because I can no longer live in peace. I dream of war! because I can no longer live in peace! I DREAM OF WAR! BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER LIVE IN PEACE! [loud orchestral instrumental] [instrumental][beautiful emotional piano] [soft piano solo] [soft piano] [whisper weak] [whisper weak][sad][weakly] [sigh] keep fighting... [whispering][broken] keep... [sigh] keep fighting... [breaking down] [sigh] ...keep fighting... [breaking down][whispering][broken] You.. you.. have to... ...keep... fighting... [soft piano solo] [sigh][releaved][wisper] I can't... [end][silence]