[Verse 1: Midwest chopper male MC, fast clipped bursts riding the stuttering footwork kicks] Thirty seconds of a sunset and a couple on a dock And a grandpa throwin' frisbees like he never met a clock Then the music gets real quiet and the letters get real small And they put me in the booth to read the part that tells it all I'm the fella at the bottom, I'm the fine-print, fast-lane man Fit a hundred words in places where a normal tongue can't stand "May cause dizziness and swelling, may cause trouble when you sleep" Then I slip one in for nothin', "And the dock is not that deep" Nine years and not a soul has caught it, not a single ear 'Cause the only part that's honest is the part you never hear [Hook: Midwest chopper male MC, the footwork kicks rolling under him] Side effects may include, and I read 'em real fast Every word you never catch is the only word that lasts Ask your doctor, ask your lawyer, ask your mama, ask your past Side effects may include the truth, and it's always comin' last [Verse 2: faster, the kicks stuttering harder] Truck ad, mountain road, a pickup climbin' through the snow "Professional driver, closed course," that's the part you know Then I tuck it in the middle, "And the truck was on a rope" "And the snow came out a bucket, and the mountain is a joke" Burger ad, the patty's tall, the lettuce got a shine "Prices may vary at participatin' stores, see sign" "And the burger in the picture took a stylist and a pin" "And the one you get is flatter than the wallet you came in" Bank ad, smilin' banker with a puppy in his lap "Terms and conditions apply," then I slide into the gap "And the puppy was a rental, and the interest is a trap" "And the banker never smiled at anybody, that's a wrap" [Hook: full footwork kit] Side effects may include, and I read 'em real fast Every word you never catch is the only word that lasts Ask your doctor, ask your lawyer, ask your mama, ask your past Side effects may include the truth, and it's always comin' last [Verse 3: Midwest chopper male MC, the tongue-twister run, every syllable clean at full speed] Then a kid out in Toledo slowed my reads to quarter speed Heard the whole nine years of it, every tiny planted seed Now they mute the happy music and they turn the fast part loud And the agency is sweatin', and the client's lost the crowd "See a physician if your vision has a twitchin' indecision" "Six slick sixteen-ounce sodas sold with zero supervision" "Not responsible for theft or loss or heartache or the weather" "And the man who reads the fast part quit this mornin' and feels better" [Hook: the kicks slamming] Side effects may include, and I read 'em real fast Every word you never catch is the only word that lasts Ask your doctor, ask your lawyer, ask your mama, ask your past Side effects may include the truth, and it's always comin' last [End]
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