Intro Boarding gate or therapy chair, I’ve got frequent flyer miles and despair! Verse 1 Analyzed a monk in Rome, He confessed he missed his phone. Told a surfer in L.A., His trauma was “every Monday.” Pre-Chorus Then in swizerland, oh mon Dieu, I found a case I can’t get through… Chorus Oh Daniel, my beautiful mess, Freud himself would call it stress! Every thought’s a traffic jam, He dreams in spreadsheets, eats his plans! Oh Daniel, my patient star, Therapy from the minibar! You’re the reason I need a break, The worst I met — and my best mistake! Verse 2 Met a guru in Nepal, He told me I should “hug it all.” But after two weeks in your head, I need three shrinks and extra meds! Pre-Chorus Your brain’s a maze, your words collide, Even Jung just ran and cried! Chorus Oh Daniel, my tangled myth, I can’t tell if you’re cursed or a gift. Every session’s a rodeo, And I still don’t know where we go! Oh Daniel, my hopeless friend, You’re the test that never ends! Every time I think I’m done — You book another session, hun! Bridge (spoken with mock seriousness) Diagnosis: incurable charm. Prescription: none. I quit. Final Chorus Oh Daniel, my wild cliché, You make Freud roll in his grave! But I’ll admit, beneath the pain, You’re the reason I’m insane! Oh Daniel, my patient star, You’ve out-psyched the psycho shrink so far! Guess I’m the one who lost the game — Signed: Doctor What’s-Her-Name!
