Pizza for Two (But It’s Just Me)

(Intro) [man, spoken] Sigh… Another Valentine's Day… alone. Just me, my couch, and a frozen pizza. [cat, spoken] Ayo, hold up—don’t forget ya BOY, Whiskers! You ain't alone, you just… tragically single. (Verse 1) [man, rapping] Valentine’s Day, man, it’s such a scam, All these couples holdin’ hands on the ‘Gram. Reservations? Nah, I got none, It’s just me and my cat—ain’t that fun? Heart-shaped chocolates? Yeah, I bought a pack, For myself, ‘cause love don’t call me back. Netflix queue? Just rom-com pain, Even my Roomba left me—it ran away. (Verse 2) [cat, rapping] Ohhh snap, bro, that’s real sad, Even I got more rizz than you, my lad. I got feline finesse, got ladies galore, When I purr, they be beggin’ for more. You swipin’ left? I’m stackin’ dimes, You reheatin’ pizza? I’m winnin’ at life. Maybe take notes, go get some game, ‘Cause right now? You the only one to blame! (Chorus) [man, singing] L-O-N-E-L-Y, another year just passin’ by. L-O-N-E-L-Y, just me, this cat, and a pizza pie. [cat, rapping] L-O-N-E-L-Y, sad boi vibes, don’t even try. L-O-N-E-L-Y, meanwhile, I’m livin’ nine lives! (Outro) [man, spoken] Okay, okay, we get it, Whiskers, you’re a ladies’ cat. [cat, spoken] I mean, facts. But hey, buddy—at least you got me. [man, spoken] …That does not help. [cat, spoken] Bruh. More pizza for us.