[Verse 1] I don’t talk much, I just nod Let the doctors speak to God I keep my feelings folded small Like paper cranes against the wall My phone is dead, my hands are cold I’ve heard “be strong” a thousandfold But strength feels like a stranger now And I don’t know how to let it out [Pre-Chorus] They say “just breathe” like it’s that easy Like my chest don’t shake and freeze me And I smile like I’m okay Just to keep the questions away [Chorus] But I’m scared of the hallway lights The way they flicker, the way they bite Like white little moons in a straight-line sky Counting my steps like a goodbye And every time they roll me through I’m trying to act like I’m not afraid of you ‘Cause I don’t know if I’m coming back I don’t know if I’m coming back [Verse 2] I watch the ceiling like a screen Where all my worst thoughts start to stream And nurses whisper down the hall Like I’m not here at all The gown is thin, the air is sharp My heartbeat sounds like broken art And I keep praying in my head Even though I don’t know what I said [Pre-Chorus] I’m not dramatic, I’m just quiet But panic lives behind my eyelids And I don’t cry, I just stare Like if I don’t move, it’s not there [Chorus] And I’m scared of the hallway lights The way they flicker, the way they bite Like white little moons in a straight-line sky Counting my steps like a goodbye And every time they roll me through I’m trying to act like I’m not afraid of you ‘Cause I don’t know if I’m coming back I don’t know if I’m coming back [Bridge] (more intimate / spoken-sung) I wanna text somebody “I’m fine” But my fingers don’t feel like mine And I don’t wanna worry my mom So I swallow the fear and bite my tongue They say “it’s routine” But I’m not routine I’m a whole life in a hospital bed Trying not to think of the worst instead And I keep staring at those lights Like maybe they’ll tell me if I survive tonight [Final Chorus] (bigger / emotional release) Yeah I’m scared of the hallway lights The way they hum like a lullaby Like they’ve seen a thousand people go And they never tell you who comes home And every time they roll me through I hold my breath like the world might move ‘Cause I don’t know if I’m coming back No, I don’t know if I’m coming back [Outro] (soft, fading) So if I don’t say much… It’s not that I don’t feel It’s just… I’m trying to stay real Under the hallway lights....(hallway lights)
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