[Intro – Female Spoken] (phone notification sound) Hello?? Why is my cat texting me? … Okayyy sirrrr?? (haha) [Cat Ad-libs: meow… meow.] [Verse 1 – Female Rap] Mindin’ my business, phone light glowin’ Grey eyes starin’, yeah, I know he knowin’ Judgy lil face, naked body, zero shame He like “Girl… we need to talk about your choices today.” Side-eye sharp like a guillotine He don’t blink, he just judge me clean Telepathic, Wi-Fi strong Why my cat know when I’m doin’ wrong? [Female Ad-libs: Okkkkurrr! Sirrrr!] [Cat Ad-libs: meow. tsk. meeeow.] [Pre-Chorus – Female (sung/rap)] He say “Drink some water.” I say “Mind your fur.” He say “That man is trash.” I say “Okkkkurrr sirrrr.” He say “Sleep more.” I say “You nap all day.” He say “Exactly.” Then he walk away. [Chorus – Female] I judge you, but I love you — meow Mind control straight through the phone now Meow mix, chicken, liver on the way now Clean your life up or I’ll stare you down I judge you, but I love you — meow Side-eye heavy, don’t make a sound I run this house, let’s be clear now You stressed? Sit down. [Cat Ad-libs: meow. chicken. deliver.] [Verse 2 – Male Vocal (Cat Voice – deadpan rap)] Why you text back fast? Why you trust like that? Why you cry then laugh? Why you buy plants when the rent look sad? I observe. I calculate. You emotional — I dominate. Ancient being, zero fur Feed me well and we’ll be great. [Female Ad-libs: EXCUSE me?? Haha. Sirrrr.] [Cat Ad-libs: meow.] [Pre-Chorus – Female] He say “Eat better.” I say “You scream for snacks.” He say “That’s different.” Then he lay on my lap. [Chorus – Female] I judge you, but I love you — meow Mind control straight through the phone now Meow mix, chicken, liver on the way now Clean your life up or I’ll stare you down I judge you, but I love you — meow Who need therapy? I got him now One look and my nervous system calm down Okkkkurrr sirrrr, calm down. [Bridge – Spoken Word (Male Cat + Female)] Male (Cat): You are chaos. You are tired. You are powerful. Also… your laundry is embarrassing. Female: Why are you like this?? Male (Cat): Because you listen. [Cat Ad-lib: slow judgmental meow.] [Final Chorus – Female (bigger)] I judge you, but I love you — meow That’s my emotional support crown Feed me right, I protect your soul now Miss one meal, I will haunt this house I judge you, but I love you — meow Mind control but it’s gentle now Mixed feed, mixed love, mixed sound Best therapist I ever found [Outro – Chaos Ad-libs] Female: Okkkkurrr sirrrr! Haha! Cat: meow. chicken. liver. Female: DELIVER. Cat: meow.
