[Verse 1] I bought him cigarettes with the change from the laundromat Taught him all my punchlines, he laughed before I got there He slept behind the mirror where the silver starts to peel And every night he asked me, “So, what are we not gonna feel?” [Pre-Chorus] I said, “Keep your voice down, the neighbors think I’m fine” He said, “That’s the funniest lie you’ve ever called mine” [Chorus] I fed my shadow better than myself Gave him every truth I couldn’t tell Every swallowed apology, every bottle on the shelf I fed my shadow better than myself [Verse 2] He wore my Sunday smile to weddings and funerals Shook hands with all the people who said I looked so well Meanwhile I was downstairs counting cracks in the foundation Trying to remember when pretending became my occupation [Pre-Chorus] I said, “If they see you, they’ll know what I’ve become” He said, “They already do; they just prefer the handsome one” [Chorus] I fed my shadow better than myself Gave him every truth I couldn’t tell Every unsent message, every bruise I never dealt I fed my shadow better than myself [Bridge] I blamed him for the drinking I blamed him for the rage I blamed him for the nights I tore the good things from the page But he was only carrying the weight I wouldn’t claim A mule loaded with my silence, dragging chains engraved with my name [Breakdown] So I opened up the mirror Let the cold light flood the room He stepped out looking younger than the boy I thought I knew And for the first time in years When he asked me what I feared I answered with my own voice instead of handing him the words [Final Chorus] I fed my shadow better than myself Starved the heart and blamed anybody else Now he’s standing in the doorway, healthy as a ringing bell And I’m learning how to feed us both Learning how to feed us both Before one of us disappears.
