I Saw a Dragon and I Sh*t My Pants

[Intro: Lute and Tambourine] Gather 'round, my friends, I've got a tale to tell, Of dragons and trousers, and how things didn't go so well! [Verse 1] In the heart of the forest, on a brave quest I went, With courage in my heart, and a sword that was bent, Saw a dragon's shadow, big and vast, Next thing I knew, I had a blast! [Chorus] I saw a dragon, and I shit my pants, Fumbled with my sword, didn't stand a chance, A mighty roar and a fiery dance, Oh dear gods, I shit my pants! [Interlude: Lute Solo] Strumming on my lute, trying to be brave, But my trousers told a story of how I misbehaved! [Verse 2] In a dungeon deep, where the brave never weep, I met a fiery foe, who made me leap, With scales so shiny and breath so hot, My stomach did things that I'd rather not! [Pre-Chorus] Tried to swing my sword, but it went all wrong, The dragon laughed, and my nerves weren’t strong. [Chorus] I saw a dragon, and I shit my pants, Fumbled with my sword, didn't stand a chance, A mighty roar and a fiery dance, Oh dear gods, I shit my pants! [Solo: Flute & Lute] [Verse 3] The dragon turned, with a gleam in its eye, "What's that smell?" it asked, and I wanted to die, The tavern folk laugh, but they weren’t there, Facing the dragon's breath and that dreadful stare! [Bridge: Humorous] Now when folks ask of my heroic fight, I tell them this tale in the tavern at night, Of bravery lost and trousers betrayed, And how a dragon’s roar made me afraid! [Break: Tambourine and Lute] Doo-da-da-da-da-da, oh what a fright, Sing along, my friends, in the firelight! [Chorus] I saw a dragon, and I shit my pants, Fumbled with my sword, didn't stand a chance, A mighty roar and a fiery dance, Oh dear gods, I shit my pants! [Outro: Lute and Tambourine] So heed my tale, adventurers bold, Hold tight to your courage, and never fold, For in the face of dragons, who prance and prance, You just might find, you’ll shit your pants! [fade out] [silence] [silence] [end song]