“Beneath the Ash” (I’m Holding On Still Standing)

“BENEATH THE ASH” Written by TWELVE Performed Vocals TWELVE Twelve | 12Gauge858 Music [INTRO Everybody points at the man who walked out… Nobody asks what stayed inside the fire. I didn’t rise untouched. I rose carrying what the flames couldn’t finish. [VERSE 1 There’s an empty chair that still owns part of the room A folded flag that makes the daylight feel too soon Some mornings I can hear my father clear his throat Some nights my son is somewhere underneath each note They call me strong because I learned to stand up straight They never saw me bargaining with Heaven after eight One hand against the sink, one gripping porcelain Trying not to wake the house when grief came back again I wear a smile without disturbing any pain Say, “I’m alright,” until it almost sounds the same Strength ain’t when the hurting finally disappears Sometimes strength is washing ash out of your beard [CHORUS Beneath the ash There’s a fire breathing low There are names I never buried There are wounds I’ll never show Beneath the ash I’m not cold—I’m holding on Every flame that tried to end me Left a light to lead me home If you touch the man I’ve become You might still feel the past I’m alive… Still alive… Beneath the ash [INSTRUMENTAL [Hypnotic piano, descending cello, short blues-guitar cries] [Distant male howl; no extended solo] [VERSE 2 I carried war home in the muscles of my back Checked every doorway, slept facing every crack A quiet room could sound like incoming fire And peace could make me question my own heart’s desire I watched love become a language we both lost Shared the same walls while silence counted up the cost Signed my name where promises had come apart Then drove beneath the Dallas lights with silence in the car At 3:00, I pulled myself back from the edge “Just make it till the morning”—that was all I said God never promised I would leave without a scar He only kept reminding me the scar was not the bar [CHORUS Beneath the ash There’s a fire breathing low Every name I carry with me Is a reason I still glow Beneath the ash I’m not cold—I’m holding on Every flame that tried to end me Left a light to lead me home I’m alive… Still alive… Beneath the ash [BRIDGE Don’t call me fearless I remember every flame Don’t call me healed Just because I say their names I still leave room beside me For the ones who couldn’t stay Still look toward the heavens When an aircraft crosses gray [Heartbeat] Thump… thump… [Distant chains] Clank… clank… [Whispered] Don’t sweep it away… Some of that ash still has their fingerprints in it. [Tribal drums begin rising] I am not the ruins I am not what disappeared I’m the breath beneath the wreckage That refused to die in here The world saw smoke And thought that I was gone God reached beneath it… And found my pulse still on. [FINAL CHORUS Beneath the ash There’s a fire breathing low Every name I carry with me Is a reason I still glow Beneath the ash There’s a heart they couldn’t take It has cracked beneath the pressure But it never learned to break If you touch the man I’ve become You’ll feel more than the past You’ll feel my father… You’ll feel my son… You’ll feel God beneath the ash Still alive… Still alive… I didn’t rise untouched… But I rose. [One final trembling guitar note] Twelve.