Once upon a midnight dreary, typing posts so weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious meme of internet lore— While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a snapping, As of something, gently tapping—tapping near my router’s core. “’Tis my bandwidth,” I muttered, “buffering as it did before— Only this, and nothing more.” Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, When each glowing screen did render ghostly light across the floor. Eagerly I sought connection—sweet, elusive, lost perfection— For the Netflix of affection I had queued the hour before— To be stranded, cruelly stranded, in a spinning loading war— Of the Wi-Fi, nevermore! And the silken sad uncertain clicking of my mouse’s burden Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating, “’Tis some glitch within the seating of the modem by the door— Some foul spirit in the circuit, haunting from the days of yore— This it is, and nothing more!” Presently my rage grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, “Tech support!” I cried, “Your mercy on this cursed network pour! For the souls who binge forever, trapped in loops of endless error, Hear me, hear my wretched terror—give me signal I implore!— Quoth the modem, softly blinking, with a light I can’t ignore: ‘Try unplugging... said the tech once more.’” Deep into that darkness staring, long I stood there, madly swearing, Dreaming dreams no streamer ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the lag still gave its token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered, cursed “Error 4oh4.” This I whispered, and a faint voice echoed from the bedroom door— “Update pending... evermore.” And the router, still unblinking, lies there, endlessly re-thinking, While my sanity is sinking, drowning slow beneath the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted—nevermore!
