[Verse 1] I bought her flowers every single day (Every day!) I serenaded underneath the moon I wrote her poems, held her hand in May But she said "Darling, you're a bit out of tune" [Chorus] She left me for a tuba player A low-down, oom-pah kind of guy (Oom-pah, oom-pah!) His brass was shinier than my heart Now I'm singing solo, wondering why She left me for a tuba player His cheeks puffed out, mine full of tears (Full of tears!) I guess she needed someone with more brass The saddest note I've heard in years [Verse 2] He weighs three hundred pounds of gleaming gold (Gleaming gold!) She polishes his valves with tender care I used to be the one that she would hold Now she's oiling someone else's air [Chorus] She left me for a tuba player A low-down, oom-pah kind of guy (Oom-pah, oom-pah!) His brass was shinier than my heart Now I'm singing solo, wondering why [Bridge] I tried to win her back with harmony (Bum-bum-bum) I even learned to play the clarinet But she said "Boy, you're sharp, you're flat, you're killing me" (Killing me!) "That tuba man's the finest thing I've met!" [Verse 3] Now every night I hear them down the street (Down the street!) That big old horn goes rumbling through the dark I'm harmonizing with my own heartbeat Singing sad songs, lonely in the park [Final Chorus] She left me for a tuba player I guess that's just the way love goes (Way love goes!) But if you see her, tell her that I'm fine I've found myself a girl who plays... piccolo (Piccolo!) [Tag] She left me... (She left him!) For a tuba... (For a tuba!) Plaaaaay-errrrr (Oom-pah!)
