He saw the birthday cards I sent, The dates I learned by heart, The little ways I tried to say, "You matter. You're a part." He saw me make the calendars, Remember every name, Trying to turn his and mine Into one family just the same. You may remember differently. But He saw me. He saw the bleachers, folding chairs, The ball games through the years, The school programs and graduations, All the times that I was there. The long flights to visit Jessica's family The ordinary things— The kind of love that doesn't look Like much from in between. But He knew why I came. He saw me. He saw me. He knew where my heart was. He knew what I was trying to do. Every awkward step toward belonging, Every little way I reached for you. He saw the things nobody noticed, And the things you may not remember now. I don't need to rewrite the story. He saw me then. He sees me now. He saw me honor your mother, Keep her pictures in their place, Learn the stories that came before me, Never try to take her space. I never needed her forgotten So that I could somehow belong. I knew that loving all of you Meant letting her love carry on. He saw me reach toward her family, Make room for them in mine, Learn their birthdays, keep connections, Never draw some dividing line. I knew that loving all of you Meant loving where you came from too— Her sisters, all the ties she left, The people who still mattered to you. I didn't try to close that circle. I kept reaching to make it wide. He knew what I was trying to build. He saw me. If anyone knows that was true— He does. He saw me. He saw the babies in my arms, The birthdays and the trips, The holidays, the family dinners, The laughter on their lips. He saw me love you fully, . . . and unconditionally I also loved your children Not because anyone made me But because when I married your dad They became mine to love too. He knows that. He saw me. He saw the money freely given, The projects we would start, The miles traveled, doors held open, Every effort from my heart. He saw me ask your father "Did you talk to the kids today?" Saw all the little things I did To help keep distance away. I wasn't tearing down your family. My focus was to build. He saw me. And He saw my mistakes too. Every time I tried too hard. Every time I misunderstood. Every moment I should have spoken, Every time silence would have been good. He doesn't need me to be perfect To know what lived inside my heart. He knows the difference Between getting something wrong And meaning harm. That's the part No accusation can change. Because He was there. And when I sat there in September, Barely speaking through the shock, He knew what I was thinking While your accusations dropped. He knew I wasn't calculating How to win or prove you wrong. I was praying, "Please don't let seventeen years Be gone." Nobody else could hear that prayer. But He did. He saw me. He saw me. Every card and every ball game, Every program, every mile. Every effort to remember, Every grandchild, every smile. He saw me honor what came before me While trying to find a place of my own. He saw seventeen years of reaching. And He knows What I know. I wasn't perfect. But I loved you. I wasn't always wise. But I tried. And when the story told about me Doesn't sound like the life I recognize— I can put down my defenses. Because there is One Who saw it all. I know what I did. I know where my heart was. And so does He. He saw the love. He saw the love. He saw the effort. He saw the mistakes. He saw the trying. He saw me. And that will be enough.
