I am of no substance I let the ball drop Released the lasso Felt it stop I have been high Licking the edge of disparity Foregoing my right My right from wrong Every day Saying I will get back to me But as I write I see As I reflect I believe I was so blind For this is me My sleeve told the truth To reveal and accept To ponder what's sane and allocate my debt What a shame What a waste What a plague I'm under But I saw Drank its haste Love more Me alike Me alone in the night I am of a war up here Screams and begging inside my head They can be loud While in the cloud She can be deafening as she roars Bellowing, repeating “no more” Hearts carved heavy Distance is drunk The violence The quiet Lusting lives of monks Far beneath His hum escapes her laughter Not sad For his touch eludes her soul Never hate but go away No depth; profundity No purity; you lose No raw abyss abound with strength No lust filled, blood drawn intensity My pink cloud’s not made for you Let me toss you the other way It does not knock Slips beneath my rib cage patiently destructive Hand me coins for switch and bait Just leave me be It’s true I’m found I am Just me And all I’ll ever need All I ever have Steep grooves Heels on tigers Skinned knees on cobblestone Yet there I go Saying thank you Mouthing no Chaos gaining distance My body forgets to listen Too often slips my mind Ritually Unimpressive Yet rousing Even soaked and pounding Alas still I’m here Sucking in your air Reasoning Asking to care Even now colloquial Consistently grateful Still lighting up rooms With shiny, weighted hooks Eyes widened youth Gilded hope eludes The glorified hardened loom Begrudgingly wasting decay Just let my flood erase them Carryover to his ocean Every vow Woven deep On hollow nights I wonder Why it hasn’t killed me The shattering backwards motion How my quiet silence thundered Yet mercy merely wanders With Exception he’s still here I, again alone in my fight All I see Writing my anxiety with teeth marks scattered Across leather bands She’s Numb Soft Wearily wiping tears The anchor encore 6 - 7 - 8 Quiet war wins A broken curve is but a smile Burdened lineage Overboard the weight Humming tongue bit tight Still It’s me Me I am I am the me You’ll never see Nor the mask behind my smile. Gratitude and grief entwined She’s wrath Icebergs in her warmth Racing thoughts No touching Whilst I beg for silence Angrily moaning the stings, While cumming in defiance. Pretend I’m fine For I really truly am Just trapped no more than lost As much as I am me Empty eyes, numb to the breaking. Weary soul My restless muse endlessly fade into my smile She’s stolen the toll Goodbye to her She skipped the pile I once was she Her drifters fear But now you see I’m just me
