'Twas the night before Christmas Not a sound in the house Lying patiently with A ball gag in my mouth My kerchief and cap Tossed to the floor Waiting for the big man to come through my door Been checking the clock Every minute’s a tease Dreaming of a yule log Under my tree Sleigh bells ring My heart’s beating fast Hoping this year that he’s ready to smash Cookies and milk? Nah, they're out of style Cos I'm the real snack that will make him smile Got a sleigh full of toys ready to unpack He’s carrying more than just gifts in that sack Oh, wrap me up Mr. Kringle You're in control Show me what you can do With that big north pole C'mon Jolly Man Down my chimney quick I wanna see the devil inside St. Nick Pull my hair and throw me down on the bed Show me the reason why they call you Big Red It's been a whole year since you've had me And this year I’ve been a baddie I wanna give you your present madly Please, Santa be my Daddy Leather belt, black boots I’m losing my mind The way he cracks that whip Is one of a kind On his list I'm extremely naughty He licks a candy cane Then he flogs my body Tis the season for submission and cheer Daddy’s on his way to ride his favorite reindeer No silent night, just jolly old screams Sugar, spice and peppermint creams Cookies and milk? Nah, they're out of style Cos I'm the real snack that will make him smile Got a sleigh full of toys ready to unpack He’s carrying more than just gifts in that sack Oh, wrap me up Mr. Kringle You're in control Show me what you can do With that big north pole C'mon Jolly Man Down my chimney quick I wanna see the devil inside St. Nick Pull my hair and throw me down on the bed Show me the reason why they call you Big Red It's been a whole year since you've had me And this year I’ve been a baddie I wanna give you your present madly Please, Santa be my Daddy Under the mistletoe, I'm your favorite elf This Christmas kink? I made it myself The sleigh bells jingle, and the energy pops Like the star on my tree, He's the perfect top Oh, wrap me up Master Kringle Plug every hole Show me what you can do With that big north pole C'mon Jolly Man Down my chimney quick I wanna see the devil inside St. Nick Pull my hair and throw me down on the bed Show me the reason why they call you Big Red It's been a whole year since you've had me And this year I’ve been a baddie I wanna give you your present madly Please, Santa be my Daddy Jingle bells? More like jingle balls! I’m dicking the halls, baby! Oh, wrap me up Mr. Kringle You're in control Show me what you can do With that big north pole C'mon Jolly Man Down my chimney quick I wanna see the devil inside St. Nick Pull my hair and throw me down on the bed Show me the reason why they call you Big Red It's been a whole year since you've had me And this year I’ve been a baddie I wanna give you your present madly Please, Santa be my Daddy (The safe word is Eggnog)