[Important: Rick and Morty(males) must sound like the Adult swim network tv show Rick and Morty. FOLLOW EXACT BRACKETS. Keep same voices throughout] [Intro] [RICK- 70s, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] (long wet burp) Morty… I may have accidentally turned Congress into living spaghetti. [MORTY-14, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] Aw Jeez... Rick... W-why is it still voting?! [Verse 1: RICK-sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy]- Look, it started when I tried to make the perfect meatball sub Then the meatballs gained sentience and started a country club I shot the head meatball with a quantum pickle ray Now the Supreme Court is just a pile of angry marinara. Okay? (long burp) Your dad tried to negotiate and got turned into garlic bread And Summer’s dating a meatball that has three kids and a timeshare in Florida I don’t fix problems, Morty, I just make bigger, dumber ones Now help me hide this talking meatball before the FBI becomes buns. [Chorus] [RICK- 70, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] Another day, another crime against nature. [MORTY- 14, BOY, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] The spaghetti just elected a dictator! [RICK- 70, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] Reality’s a suggestion and I’m drunk enough to prove it. [MORTY-14, BOY, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] There’s a meatball in my shoe and it’s moving! [Both] Wubba lubba dub dub… we’re so screwed! [VERSE 2: MORTY- 14, BOY, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] Y-you turned the dog into a lawyer last week Then he sued us for emotional damages and took the hover car, Rick! I had to go to school while my own clone was teaching the class And he gave me detention for “existing too hard,” what the hell is that? There’s a version of me that’s married to a chair And another one that only speaks in Windows error sounds, I swear I can’t even sleep without a portal opening under my bed Spitting out a Morty that has bees for a head. [Chorus: Call-to-response] [RICK- 70, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] Another day, another crime against nature. [MORTY-14, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] The spaghetti just elected a dictator! [RICK- 70, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] Reality’s a suggestion and I’m drunk enough to prove it. [MORTY-14, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] There’s a meatball in my shoe and it’s moving! [Both]Wubba lubba dub dub… we’re so screwed! [Bridge] [RICK- 70, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] (long wet burp) You either die a Morty… or live long enough to see your own clone start a podcast about how much he hates you. [MORTY-14, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] ✓I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! [Final Chorus: Both] Wubba lubba dub dub… we’re so screwed! (Wubba lubba dub dub… we’re so screwed!) [Outro: Alternate voices] [RICK- 70, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] (deep wet burp) …Pass the flask. [MORTY-14, cracking teenage boy voice, nervous puberty mezzo-soprano, adolescent squeaks.] (tiny nervous squeak) There’s only mustard left. [RICK- 70, sarcastic raspy intoxicated grandpa voice, baritone with wet burps and long belches mid-sentances, tired genius energy.] (Wet burp) Even better.
