[Boom Bap, Psychedelic Lo-Fi, Jazz Rap] [Intro] [Soft beat starts, vinyl crackle, mellow keys] [Spoken] Yo… uh… Wait… why’s the couch… breathing? (It got asthma?) Nah, I’m good. I’m chill. Wait, am I? (Definitely not.) [Verse 1] [Chill piano loop, snare-heavy drum beat] Took a little somethin’, thought I’d mellow the stress, Now the wallpaper's dancin’, and my shirt's feelin’ wet. (Bro, am I melting?) Wait, am I sweatin’? Or is the air just… moist? Why’s the lamp in the corner soundin' like Morgan’s voice? (Do the penguin speech!) I tried to pour water, but the cup ran away, (Come back, coward!) Swear the faucet just told me, "Bro, not today." My phone’s floatin' sideways, apps turnin’ to fish, (Yo, Tinder got gills?) Instagram just asked me if I’m grantin’ a wish. (Make it stop.) [Chorus] [Soft jazzy keys, mellow bassline] Too high to function, too slow to think, Tryna find balance, but the floor’s made of pink. (Why it squishy?) Mind playin’ tricks, I’m stuck on repeat, Been standin’ here forever, too gone to pee. (It’s not comin’, bro.) [Verse 2] [Drum loop continues, light hi-hats added] Yo, I opened the fridge, and the butter said, "Sup?" (Like, emotionally?) Bread winked at me, so I’m like, "Guess you’re up." Made a sandwich—wait, did I?—or was that in my head? Why’s there mustard on my pillow, and my sock in the bread? (This a recipe?) My cat’s playin’ poker with three tiny raccoons, (Fold, Whiskers!) The clock keeps beatboxing, droppin’ mad tunes. (Low-key fire.) Thought I found my phone, but it’s just a remote, Texted myself, "Dude, you good?" Like, nah, not even close. (Left me on read, too.) [Bridge] [Beat drops out, faint vinyl crackle, acapella] [Spoken] Yo, real talk… I been standin’ in the bathroom for ten minutes. (Hour, maybe.) Not even tryin' to pee anymore. Just watchin’ the sink faucet vibe to the beat. …Should I freestyle with it? (Sink got bars.) [Chorus] [Beat returns, horns softly layered in background] (Pepto Bismol Vibes) [Verse 3] [Beat continues, bassline bounces harder] I sat on the couch, but the couch sat on me, (Get off me, bro!) My reflection in the TV said, "Yo, let’s be free!" So now I’m outside, talkin’ deep to a tree— It said, "Life’s just photosynthesis, man, let it be." (Tree got wisdom.) Neighbors lookin’ wild, like, "Who’s this dude?" (Mind ya business!) I’m explainin’ string theory… to a can of dog food. Doorbell rang—I panicked, threw my phone in the sink, (Fight or flight.) Then realized… I don’t even have a doorbell, I think. [Chorus with extra backup singers] [Verse 4] I blinked, now I’m floatin’ three feet off the floor, (Wait, what?!) Shoes talkin’ trash like, "Bro, you can’t score!" I told ‘em, "You Nikes, you ain’t built for the court!" They laughed, did a backflip, and filed a report. (Not the paperwork!) [Outro] [Beat fades out} [Spoken] Wait… did I ever pee?.............. ( Nope.) Wait, where am I? …Oh snap, I’m still in the kitchen. Bruh. (beep)(Beep)(vrrrmmm)(shhhhhh)
