😶Aren't You Better Yet?😶

"Aren’t you better yet?" "I mean… it’s over now." "You just have to move forward." "At least the worst part is over." [Beat.] I’m not living in the past. I’m living in what it left behind. --- Verse 1 You saw the smoke stop rising Called the whole thing done The sirens left the driveway So apparently I’d won Fresh start Clean slate New chapter Lucky me Funny how survival ends Exactly where recovery should be --- Chorus "Aren’t you better yet?" "Aren’t you over it?" You saw the fire stop burning You didn’t see what burned You see me standing You don’t see what it costs to stay upright The danger went quiet It did not disappear --- Verse 2 The first time that I hit the ground There were hands around me then The second time was harder But I found my feet again Then another thing And another thing And another thing came through By the time the walls fell one more time There wasn’t much left new Grief Loss Home again Start again Build the work back from the floor Learn another truth about What family was for --- Pre-Chorus I learned to stand While being pushed back down I learned to build While somebody shook the ground I rebuilt with one hand While the other held the door --- Chorus "Aren’t you better yet?" "Aren’t you over it?" You saw the fire stop burning You didn’t see what burned You see me standing You don’t see what it costs to stay upright The danger went quiet It did not disappear --- Verse 3 You helped me through the first one You checked in through the next By the fourth I started editing By the sixth I sent less text I knew you had your own life I knew compassion has an end So I learned to say, “I’m fine” So I could still be someone’s friend I stopped bringing wreckage with me Kept the catastrophe offstage Made some room for everybody else And folded mine away --- Build Every time I raised a frame Somebody tested every beam Every time the dust began to clear Something moved behind the scene I learned to stand While being pushed back down I rebuilt with one hand While the other held the door --- Breakdown GET UP. School starts at nine. GET UP. Payment overdue. GET UP. Dinner at six. GET UP. Another mess. Another meltdown. Another fucking thing. [Pause.] Nobody told me freedom had admin. --- Bridge The war went quiet My body stayed awake The walls went up I learned what they could take One hand building One hand on the door I got back up And guarded what I built it for The danger went quiet It did not disappear --- Final Chorus "Aren’t you better yet?" "Aren’t you over it?" I survived the things that happened Some of them are happening still You see me standing You don’t see the weight You call it moving on Like healing has a date I’m not behind I’m not finished I’m rebuilding. On a fault line