King of the Hell

*[Verse 1]* Well, I was grillin' burgers one fine day Down in Arlen, Texas, in my propane way When a fiery crack opened in the ground Before I knew it, I was Hell-bound. Ol’ Beelzebub handed me his crown, Said, "You run the pits now—burn 'em down." But I looked around and shook my head, Said, "Y'all need propane instead." *[Pre-Chorus]* No more sulfur, no more smoke We'll clean this place up with a righteous poke From a Blue Flame burner, crisp and bright Deliverin' damnation done right! *[Chorus]* Now I'm King of the Hell, yessir, it's true Clean propane's what we're burnin' through Eternal torment without the smoggy stain 'Cause I am pro-pain! (Yup!) Yes, I am pro-pain! *[Verse 2]* Got grills on every pit of fire Brimstone's outdated, it just felt tired Souls sizzle slow on a stainless grate Char-broiled judgment served up straight I punish the wicked with propane force Light 'em up, stay on course Spatula of justice in my hand I'm damnation’s clean-energy man *[Pre-Chorus]* No black smoke, no foul air Just righteous burns with tender Texan care A propane torch, that’s my tool I run Hell by the Golden Rule *[Chorus]* Now I'm King of the Hell, yessir, it's true Clean propane's what we're burnin' through Eternal torment without the smoggy stain 'Cause I am pro-pain! (Dang right!) Yes, I am pro-pain! *[Bridge]* I got Bobby stackin' tanks all day Peggy's writin' scripts for the Hell Propane, okay Boomhauer handles the sales pitch And Dale's convinced I'm Satan’s snitch *[Outro]* If you're wicked and come on down Don't be expectin' that sulfurous sound You'll burn clean in the pits I run Powered by propane under the sun *[Final Chorus]* Now I'm King of the Hell, yessir, it's true Clean propane's what we're burnin' through Eternal torment without the smoggy stain 'Cause I am pro-pain! (Dang ol' yup!) Yes, I am pro-pain!