Sam walked into Cheddar's, put his name on the list, Ordered a rum and Coke, nothing more than this, Waiting on the boys with some time he had to burn, Bartender set a plate down before he'd even turned. Honey butter croissants, golden, warm, and free, Sam said, "I didn't order these," she said, "They're on me." Frozen on the barstool, didn't know the play, Holding bread he never asked for with nothing left to say. [Verse 2] Jack A walked in, saw Sam staring at the tray, "Why are you holding croissants in that kind of way?" Sam said, "She just gave 'em to me, I don't know the deal," Jack said, "Why is this their flagship? How is this the appeal? It's a scratch kitchen — ribs and burgers on the board, And the thing they're known for is a croissant? I'm floored." Phone buzzed — table's ready on the far side of the floor, Rum in his right, croissants in his left, headed for the door. [Pre-Chorus] Giant turbine fan above them spinning overhead, Sam just trying not to drop his drink or lose the bread, Jack A right behind him, still can't let the question go, "Seriously though — the croissant thing — I need someone to know." [Chorus] 🎵 Honey Butter Boys on a Tuesday night, Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen and it all feels right, Raise your glass, raise your croissant high, Honey Butter Boys 'til the day we die. 🎵 [Verse 3] Made it to the table, set the plate down safe and sound, Jack A grabbed the menu, said, "Look what I just found — Queso fries, 200 cal, that's a win across the board," Sam said, "That sounds reasonable," Jack said, "Bless the Lord." Plate came out — a wall of cheese and ranch from side to side, Jack said, "Wait — that can't be right," his face full of pride, Sam looked at the menu, looked at Jack, and shook his head, "Brother — that's the dipping sauce alone is what it said, Use your eyeballs, Jack — the ranch is 200 on the line, The whole dish is 3000 — you're not reading it right, you're fine." Jack just sat there, staring at the plate in disbelief, Three thousand calories sitting underneath the cheese like grief. Both of them just sighed and let the moment settle down, "Juice would never help us eat this — healthiest man in town." [Verse 4] Then the waitress came back over with a brand-new tray of bread, Sam looked down — hadn't finished one — and quietly he said, "I still have croissants from the first round, I'm not even done," She just smiled, set them down, and left before he'd begun. Jack looked at the table, looked at Sam, and lost his mind, "They keep bringing more! We didn't ask! What is this — some kind Of croissant conspiracy? A honey butter scheme? Who builds a restaurant brand around a bread-and-butter dream?" Sam said, "Jack, just eat one, man," Jack said, "Oh I am, But I need to understand the strategy, Sam — I need the plan." [Chorus] 🎵 Honey Butter Boys on a Tuesday night, Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen and it all feels right, Raise your glass, raise your croissant high, Honey Butter Boys 'til the day we die. 🎵 [Verse 5] Two-thirds through the evening, Sam's phone rang at the table, Juice was in a parking garage, the signal barely stable, "Boys — ...someone — ...care-flighted — ...I'm on my way —" Sam said, "Juice, you're breaking up — what do you want today?" "...sir...loin — ...medium — ...rare —" cutting in and out, "...broccoli — ...as much — ...as Cheddar's —" then a shout, Sam pieced it all together, flagged the waitress on the side, "Sirloin, medium rare, and all the broccoli you can provide." [Verse 6] Juice came through the door in scrubs from head to toe, Not a single person stared or even turned to know, Jack said, "It's basically Bob Evans with a little flair, Scrubs are more than welcome here — nobody'd ever care." Juice sat down, his sirloin landed, broccoli stacked high, Then he saw the queso fries and let out a heavy sigh, "Three thousand calories — you two are out of your minds," Sam said, "Tell that to this one — he can't read between the lines." Sam's buffalo chicken tenders landed hot and stacked, Alcohol was flowing and there was no turning back, Fan still spinning overhead, the croissants still on deck, Jack still quietly mumbling, "The croissant thing — what the heck." [Bridge] (half-time, acoustic, warm) Nobody planned this dinner, nobody made the call, Just a bartender, some croissants, and a fan above it all, A phone call from a garage that barely made it through, A queso fry disaster and a broccoli order too, Jack will never get his answer, that's the thing he'll never learn, The croissant question at this Cheddar's will forever twist and turn. [Final Chorus] 🎵 Honey Butter Boys on a Tuesday night, Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen and it all feels right, Raise your glass, raise your croissant high, Honey Butter Boys 'til the day we die. Honey Butter Boys on a Tuesday night, Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen and it all feels right
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