For Your Consideration (Reprisal)

[Intro] [Spoken] Dear Hiring Committee: Your outsourcing experience requirement Is an interesting place to start. I’ve experienced it extensively. Mostly from the other end of the chart. [Verse 1] You need someone to grow accounts, Get close and read the room, Hear a little business pain And find another room. Well, I know the client’s systems, And I know where budgets bend. My career became an opening— Just not on my end. [Pre-Chorus] You want someone who knows the gap Between the pitch and what gets built. I brought a résumé and banjo. You can choose which one to shortlist. [Chorus] For your consideration, I need a job since you took mine. My former firm sent work your way; I thought I’d follow up in kind. You want a warm introduction? We’re acquainted by design. For your consideration, I need a job since you took mine. [Verse 2] You want a deeper partnership, A foothold that will last. I helped build the thing you’re growing; That experience should last. You need somebody close enough To know what’s underneath. Well, your opportunity pipeline Ran directly through my seat. [Spoken] Do I have experience in outsourcing? Yes. Would you like the vendor perspective, Or shall I describe the packaging? [Verse 3] I can talk to an executive, Then tell the builders what it meant. I can spot the missing zero In a promise someone sent. I’ve never held a sales quota; I won’t dress that up for you. But I know when “just one feature” Means the quarter’s overdue. [Pre-Chorus] You need someone to find the pain And bring it to your door. Good news: it filled your application. Would you like to hear some more? [Chorus] For your consideration, I need a job since you took mine. I’m sufficiently acquainted With the work behind the line. You could pay for fresh discovery, Or we could save a little time. For your consideration, I need a job since you took mine. [Account Review] CLIENT — FAMILIAR SYSTEM — FAMILIAR HANDOFF — PERSONAL SALES QUOTA — NONE TRANSFERABLE SKILLS — STILL ATTACHED CANDIDATE — PLEASE FIND ENCLOSED [Bridge] Can I tell you “no” on Monday And remain employed on Tuesday? Can I flag a leaking promise Before someone calls it runway? If I tell you we’re at capacity, Will that sentence reach the plan? Or will I get promoted To the reason that it can’t? [Spoken] You asked for executive presence. I’m present. This appears to be uncomfortable. [Final Chorus] For your consideration, I need a job since you took mine. Put a human in the margin; See what happens to the line. If you want someone who knows the work And won’t pretend it’s fine, For your consideration, I need a job since you took mine. [Outro] [Spoken] Salary expectations? Enough to participate in the economy. Availability? An unexpected strength. Thank you for considering my application. I understand my work Has already passed your screening.