"Loki, You Little Sh*t!" (Intro) (Acoustic guitar with a cheeky, upbeat rhythm) Oh, bloody hell, here comes trouble, With a wag of his tail and a face like rubble. It’s Loki, the little bugger from hell, A pint-sized menace, and he does it so well! (Verse 1) I woke up this morning to a goddamn mess, Loki’s gone and stolen me Sunday best. He’s chewed through me undies, the cheeky mutt, And left me a present—on the carpet, a smelly butt rut. He’s a pint-sized Jack Russell with a devilish grin, And he’s got more energy than a coke-fueled spin. You think he’s a cutie with his big brown eyes, ‘Til he rips up your couch, and then sh*ts on your pies! (Chorus) Oh, Loki, you little sht! You’ve ruined me day, and you don’t give a bit. You’re a cyclone in fur, a four-legged git, But I still bloody love ya, you little sht! (Verse 2) He collects bloody rocks like he’s Indiana Jones, Drags them through the house, breaking all of me bones. There’s granite in me bathtub, quartz on me chair, And a bloody great boulder just under the stairs! He steals me socks, he drinks me beer, Then howls like a banshee right in me ear. And don’t leave your dinner where Loki can see, ‘Cause your steak’s in his belly, and he’s eyeing your tea! (Chorus) Oh, Loki, you little sht! You’ve peed on the rug, and you don’t care a bit. You’re a whirlwind of chaos, a pint-sized git, But I still bloody love ya, you little sht! (Bridge) (Guitar solo with exaggerated howling and barking in the background) Now some might say he’s “just a dog,” But he’s more like a Tasmanian Devil in a fog. He’s cute on the surface, but don’t be fooled, He’s got the bloody devil in him, and he’s totally unruled! (Breakdown) Last night he nicked me undies and buried them deep, This morning he farted me awake from my sleep. He’s destroyed me slippers, demolished me shed, And I’m pretty bloody sure he peed on my bed! (Final Chorus) Oh, Loki, you little sht! You’ve trashed me whole house, and you don’t give a bit. You’re a devil in fur, a cheeky little git, But I still bloody love ya, you little sht! (Outro) (Cheerful strumming slows as Loki barks one last time.) So here’s to Loki, my four-legged pest, The cheekiest bugger, but he’s still the best. He’s a lovable terror, a chaos-filled pit, And I’ll always bloody love ya, you little sh*t! (Final chord, crowd laughter, and Loki’s triumphant bark.)
