Oversized sweater Hair tucked in my hood Took the long way home Through any street I could Kept my voice quiet Laughed but bit it back Practiced every movement On a bedroom floor map Every mirror was a question Every stranger was a test Kept my colors in a backpack Pressed flat against my chest I was there but barely breathing Half a name on shaky lips All the things I couldn’t say Burning at my fingertips I was living in gray Between the lines Fading myself Till I blurred out of sight Hiding my heart Under borrowed lies Dancing in darkness With my own closed eyes I was living in gray Living in gray Now every step that I take Pulls me away Lipstick on a tissue Wiped before the door Zipped myself in sweaters Two sizes too large Saved up secret pictures Buried in my phone Wrote my real name softly Where nobody would go Every calendar was waiting For a day I couldn’t pick Tried to bend my body smaller Till it made my spirit sick I was there but always half-light Like the sky before it clears Holding back a thousand songs Choking on my fear I was living in gray Between the lines Fading myself Till I blurred out of sight Hiding my heart Under borrowed lies Dancing in darkness With my own closed eyes I was living in gray Living in gray Now every step that I take Pulls me away Now I paint my mouth in color Call my body by its name (Oh Yeah!) All the rooms that used to swallow me Echo it back the same I remember every hallway Every mask I had to wear But tonight I spin right through them Leave them hanging in the air I was living in gray Between the lines Fading myself Till I blurred out of sight Hiding my heart Under borrowed lies Dancing in darkness With my own closed eyes I was living in gray Now I’m alive Stepping in daylight With my own true stride I was living in gray Living in gray Now every beat that I take Pulls me away (hey!) Pulls me away (Pulls me away) No more gray
