[Intro — Deep Bass, Superstar Spoken Voice] [THE MAN] Listen, everybody! The star has arrived! Where's my limousine? Where's my gold microphone? And why is the mushroom still here? [DJ CHAMPIGNON — Calm, Menacing] Because, my friend... I control the music. [THE MAN] Then make me sound expensive! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Of course. [Beat Starts — Minimal Electro Groove] [Verse 1] Private room and a golden chair Three assistants fixing my hair I don't speak English, I don't need to The whole damn world knows what I do! Move that speaker, clean that floor I want ten dancers, maybe more DJ Champignon, don't be late You're just the mushroom behind the gate! [DJ CHAMPIGNON — Under His Breath] Oh, this little fungus is about to bloom. [Build-Up] I'm the king! I'm the star! I dance so good! I've come so far! [DJ CHAMPIGNON — Spoken] You dance like a shopping cart. [THE MAN] What was that? [DJ CHAMPIGNON] I said... You're a work of art. [Drop — Heavy Bass, Repetitive Hook] KING! KING! OF THE FLOOR! MORE! MORE! GIVE ME MORE! I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH! I DON'T NEED TO! I'M A SUPERSTAR! WHAT CAN YOU DO?! [Sabotage Break 1 — Beat Suddenly Cuts] [THE MAN] DJ! Where's my beat?! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Your beat? Oh, I thought you wanted a solo. [Three Awkward Seconds of Silence] [THE MAN] I'M STILL DANCING! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Yes. That's the problem. [Verse 2 — Beat Returns, Darker Bass] He wants the spotlight, he wants the fame He can't remember his dancers' names He calls the crowd his personal crew Then asks the DJ what "thank you" means in French! [THE MAN] I am the greatest! Everybody knows! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Let's test that theory. [Sabotage Break 2 — Ridiculous Flute Over Serious Bass] [THE MAN] WHAT IS THAT SOUND?! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Your new signature sound. [THE MAN] REMOVE THE FLUTE! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Sorry. It's in your contract. [Build-Up — Tension Rising] FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! [THE MAN] DROP IT, CHAMPIGNON! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Gladly. [Drop 2 — Bass Disappears, Only Claps Remain] CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! [THE MAN — Dancing Alone] WHERE'S THE BASS?! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] You said you were the rhythm! [THE MAN] BRING IT BACK! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Ask nicely. [THE MAN] PLEASE! [Massive Bass Returns] [Chorus — Crowd Chant] KING OF THE DANCEFLOOR! KING OF THE NIGHT! DANCING LIKE A GENIUS! LOOKING LIKE A TRAFFIC LIGHT! KING OF THE DANCEFLOOR! EVERYBODY KNOWS! HE'S GOT TWO LEFT FEET AND A VERY BIG EGO! [Bridge — DJ Champignon Takes the Microphone] Ladies and gentlemen... For our next number... The superstar will perform his famous invisible moonwalk. [THE MAN] I DON'T KNOW THAT DANCE! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Neither do you know the others. Here we go! [Final Sabotage — Beat Changes to Half-Time] [THE MAN] WHY IS THE MUSIC SLOW?! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Because your ego needs more room. [THE MAN] I'M FIRED UP! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] I'm firing you down. [Final Drop — Full Electro Groove, Crowd Chants] KING! KING! OF THE FLOOR! EGO! EGO! OUT THE DOOR! I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH! I'M STILL THE STAR! DJ CHAMPIGNON! YOU'RE GOING TOO FAR! [Outro — Beat Stops] [THE MAN] You're fired, Champignon! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Really? [THE MAN] Yes! You're finished! [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Okay. I've just cancelled your backing track. [THE MAN] My what? [DJ CHAMPIGNON] Your backing track. [THE MAN] ...I don't speak English. [DJ CHAMPIGNON] I KNOW!
