*THIS IS MY REAL ONLINE REVIEW* 😂 [Intro — Deadpan, conversational, no music] Okay guys, true story. Theacrine. TeaCrine. One hundred milligrams. Verified purchase. One star. How do you avoid getting wet? [Beat kicks in] [Verse 1] After reading through the reviews and on Wikipedia, I was sold and decided to give this a try. I too wanted improved focus and stamina in my life. Shipping was quick btw. Always a great move. Anyway so I took this pill with an 8oz glass of water. Within the hour I ate some grapes, pineapple chucks and a banana. About an hour later I’m driving to work feeling like my brain is waving at my eyeballs. I blinked a few times to get them to stop playing. [Verse 2] I get to work and start to feel different. My head starts feeling pressure in the temples. My mind focuses. And it focuses on nothing. Then I started to feel relaxed in a blah kind of way. As I’m working through this blob of a feeling that’s overtaken my body, it starts to get hot. [Verse 3] Now, I don’t know what menopause feels like yet, but from what I’ve read this made me contemplate it real quick. Am I too old? Was this the pills plan? Do I want sex? Is the pill giving me a false sense of stamina? Why do I keep sweating? Man this escalated quickly. [Verse 4] After molding into this wetland form for about an hour my body started to dry up. Like wtf. I’m not running. My job requires both mental and physical, but much less physical. At this point I’m starting to look like a Lindsey Lohan mug shot. I drink more water to retain more fluid. It didn’t work. I’m still Lindsey Lohan. [Ending — Music progressively collapses] At this point I’m done. This was one pill. One time. Never again. Now that’s what she said. [Hard silence] [Spoken — Completely deadpan] One hundred and six people found this helpful.
