I Asked for Coffee by crazy sues

# ☕🔥 **SOVAK — I ASKED FOR COFFEE, I GOT TEA** 🔥☕

**[Intro]**
Morning shift.
Barely awake.
One simple request.

**Sovak:**
“Coffee. Please. Strong.”

Five minutes later…

**“Here’s your tea.”**

…

**Sovak:**
“Your what?”

---

**[Verse 1]**
I dragged myself from bed to work,
Already tired, already irked,
Sat myself down, tried to be sweet,
I only needed caffeine to function on my feet.

I said,
“Coffee, please, don’t make it weak,
I haven’t properly slept all week.”

They smiled at me.
They walked away.
Then placed a cup down on my tray.

I took one sip.

I froze.

I stared.

**THIS IS TEA.**

---

**[Chorus]**
🔥 **I ASKED FOR COFFEE!**
☕ **YOU GAVE ME TEA!**
HOW DID THOSE TWO WORDS
BECOME THE SAME THING TO THEE?!

I asked for beans!
You brought me leaves!
I’m trying incredibly hard
Not to cause a scene!

🔥 **COFFEE! COFFEE!**
Not Earl Grey!
Give me my caffeine
And nobody gets vaporised today!

---

**[Verse 2]**
Coworker says,
“It’s basically the same.”

Sovak slowly removes his glasses.

**“Say that again.”**

“It’s just a hot drink—”

**LIGHTNING CRACKS.**

The printer stops.

The lights go blue.

Someone whispers:

**“Oh God, what did you do?”**

---

**[Pre-Chorus]**
I didn’t ask for chamomile,
I didn’t ask for peppermint,
I didn’t ask for something
That tastes like somebody washed a plant in it!

I asked for dark roasted glory,
In my favourite massive cup.

So take this tea away from me
And **FILL. THAT. COFFEE. UP.**

---

**[Chorus]**
🔥 **I ASKED FOR COFFEE!**
☕ **YOU GAVE ME TEA!**
This workplace has officially
Declared war upon me!

Milk? Fine!
Sugar? Three!
Just don’t come back
With another bloody tea!

🔥 **COFFEE! COFFEE!**
I’m begging you, please!
Before I start aggressively
Interrogating the vending machine!

---

**[Bridge]**
Manager:
“Sovak, is everything okay?”

Sovak:

“No.”

Manager:

“…Is this about the tea?”

**“THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE TEA.”**

Pause.

**“IT IS ENTIRELY ABOUT THE TEA.”**

---

**[Breakdown]**
🎵 What did he ask for? 🎵
**COFFEE!**

🎵 What did they bring him? 🎵
**TEA!**

🎵 Was that a wise decision? 🎵
**NO!**

🎵 Is the kettle currently hiding? 🎵
**YES!**

---

**[Final Chorus]**
🔥 **I ASKED FOR COFFEE!**
☕ **I FINALLY GOT COFFEE!**
The office has survived,
And everyone can now breathe!

First sip.

Eyes widen.

Heavenly light.

**Sovak:**
“…That’s better.”

Everyone cheers.

Then someone says:

“Would you like a biscuit with your tea?”

Silence.

Cup slowly cracks.

**Sovak:**

# “WITH MY WHAT?!” 🔥☕😡

2494/7500

# ☕🔥 **SOVAK — I ASKED FOR COFFEE, I GOT TEA** 🔥☕ **[Intro]** Morning shift. Barely awake. One simple request. **Sovak:** “Coffee. Please. Strong.” Five minutes later… **“Here’s your tea.”** … **Sovak:** “Your what?” --- **[Verse 1]** I dragged myself from bed to work, Already tired, already irked, Sat myself down, tried to be sweet, I only needed caffeine to function on my feet. I said, “Coffee, please, don’t make it weak, I haven’t properly slept all week.” They smiled at me. They walked away. Then placed a cup down on my tray. I took one sip. I froze. I stared. **THIS IS TEA.** --- **[Chorus]** 🔥 **I ASKED FOR COFFEE!** ☕ **YOU GAVE ME TEA!** HOW DID THOSE TWO WORDS BECOME THE SAME THING TO THEE?! I asked for beans! You brought me leaves! I’m trying incredibly hard Not to cause a scene! 🔥 **COFFEE! COFFEE!** Not Earl Grey! Give me my caffeine And nobody gets vaporised today! --- **[Verse 2]** Coworker says, “It’s basically the same.” Sovak slowly removes his glasses. **“Say that again.”** “It’s just a hot drink—” **LIGHTNING CRACKS.** The printer stops. The lights go blue. Someone whispers: **“Oh God, what did you do?”** --- **[Pre-Chorus]** I didn’t ask for chamomile, I didn’t ask for peppermint, I didn’t ask for something That tastes like somebody washed a plant in it! I asked for dark roasted glory, In my favourite massive cup. So take this tea away from me And **FILL. THAT. COFFEE. UP.** --- **[Chorus]** 🔥 **I ASKED FOR COFFEE!** ☕ **YOU GAVE ME TEA!** This workplace has officially Declared war upon me! Milk? Fine! Sugar? Three! Just don’t come back With another bloody tea! 🔥 **COFFEE! COFFEE!** I’m begging you, please! Before I start aggressively Interrogating the vending machine! --- **[Bridge]** Manager: “Sovak, is everything okay?” Sovak: “No.” Manager: “…Is this about the tea?” **“THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE TEA.”** Pause. **“IT IS ENTIRELY ABOUT THE TEA.”** --- **[Breakdown]** 🎵 What did he ask for? 🎵 **COFFEE!** 🎵 What did they bring him? 🎵 **TEA!** 🎵 Was that a wise decision? 🎵 **NO!** 🎵 Is the kettle currently hiding? 🎵 **YES!** --- **[Final Chorus]** 🔥 **I ASKED FOR COFFEE!** ☕ **I FINALLY GOT COFFEE!** The office has survived, And everyone can now breathe! First sip. Eyes widen. Heavenly light. **Sovak:** “…That’s better.” Everyone cheers. Then someone says: “Would you like a biscuit with your tea?” Silence. Cup slowly cracks. **Sovak:** # “WITH MY WHAT?!” 🔥☕😡

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