(A Rebel Rock Roast by the Presidents of the Ages) [Intro – Distorted guitar, thunder cracking] From the halls of time, they rise again— Ink-stained hands and battle-worn men— They see the throne, they see the rant… And they’re callin’ out the Orange Tyrant. [Verse 1 – Washington (steady, commanding)] I crossed the Delaware in frozen night, Led a ragged crew in a righteous fight— We built this land on grit, not show, Not gilded towers or reality glow. You talk of power, you boast, you preen, But tyranny’s a road I’ve already seen— We broke a crown for liberty’s flame… Not to hand it back in a different name. [Chorus – All] Hey! Hey! Hear the founders cry! Truth don’t bend and it don’t comply! From Gettysburg to fireside chant— We rise against the Orange Tyrant! [Verse 2 – Lincoln (somber, cutting)] I held a nation torn in two, Watched brothers fall in fields of blue— Spoke of unity, paid the cost, While you stir flames for votes you’ve lost. A house divided cannot stand, Yet you strike matches in your hand— History weeps at the games you play… I bled for truth you twist away. [Verse 3 – Teddy Roosevelt (explosive, energetic)] Bully! I charged up San Juan Hill! Lived the strenuous life with iron will! You bark like thunder, but where’s your fight? Tweets ain’t courage in the dead of night! Speak softly? You scream instead— Big stick’s missing, just ego fed! A Rough Rider laughs at your parade… Real grit ain’t something that’s spray-tanned and made! [Chorus – All, louder] Hey! Hey! Hear the people shout! We know what truth is all about! From dust of war to freedom’s grant— We call you out, Orange Tyrant! [Verse 4 – FDR (calm, resolute, rising power)] I spoke to a nation gripped in fear, Said the only thing to fear is fear— But you trade panic like it’s gold, Turn hope to anger, bold and cold. Fireside words were meant to heal, Not sharpen lies to make them real— Leadership lifts when shadows fall… Not builds a stage to divide us all. [Verse 5 – Obama (smooth, sharp, rhythmic)] Now let me be clear—this isn’t a game, Democracy’s more than a brand or a name. You rode a wave, but missed the tide, Confused the spotlight with what’s inside. We rise by truth, not noise or fear, By lifting voices, not what you hear— History’s watching, and here’s the deal… Character’s something you can’t conceal. [Breakdown – All voices overlapping, building intensity] Washington: “Honor the oath!” Lincoln: “Bind the wounds!” Teddy: “Stand and fight!” FDR: “Lift the people!” Obama: “Be better—be right!” [Final Chorus – Full band, explosive] Hey! Hey! From the past we stand! Guardians of a fragile land! Through storm and fire, we make this chant— No kings again, Orange Tyrant! [Outro – Guitar fades, echoing voices] The ink ain’t dry… the fight ain’t done… A nation’s song is never won…
