[OPEN] Don't do it. Do it. Wait. Sleep on it. Life's short. Think long-term. Brilliant. We've covered everything. [BEAT] Mum says wait. Mate says go. Brother says, “Depends.” Useful bloke. Woman at work who heard half the story has somehow got a five-point plan. [HOOK] Everyone's an expert when it isn't their life. Left says leave. Right says stay. Someone at the back says, “Trust your gut.” My gut's had three coffees. He's compromised. [VERSE] Dan sent a podcast. Forty-eight minutes. Didn't ask. Mum sent a heart. More effective. My barber said, “Mate, listen—” and stopped cutting. That's when I knew this had travelled. [CALL / RESPONSE] [VOICE 1] Do it. [VOICE 2] Don't. [VOICE 3] Wait. [VOICE 4] Now. [MALE] Perfect. Thanks. [HOOK] Everyone's an expert when it isn't their life. Half say jump. Half say don't. One bloke says, “What's the worst that can happen?” Never trust that man. [BRIDGE] [Male] You want to know what I decided? [Crowd] YEAH. [Male] No. [Crowd reaction] [FINAL RELEASE] [Male] Everyone's an expert— [Crowd fragments] DO DON'T WAIT GO [Crowd fragments] DO DON'T WAIT GO [Male] —and nobody gets a vote. [Male] Everyone's an expert— [Crowd fragments] DO DON'T WAIT GO [Male] —and nobody gets a vote. [ENDING] [Mum voice message] Have you— [Male] Mum, please.
