Wack Professor

95-100 bpm Insane wicked chaotic clowns rap duo, 1993 dark west coast bassline boom bap, bompton cadence, 90s horrorcore rap cadence, underground hiphop, gfunk boom bap bass, Duo chaotic clown rappers, horrorcore rap, dark underground hip hop, evil carnival rap, gritty boom bap, 90s Detroit-style raw mix, hard punchy drums, storytelling, grimy, random dj scratches, clear audio

🧠🧪 “PROFESSOR WACKSIDE’S FINAL EXAM”

(Intro – chalk screech, bubbling beakers, muttered laughter)

Class…
Class?
Ah—there you are.
Today’s lesson is simple…
Try not to scream.
HAHAHA—

⸻

(Verse 1 – confident, theatrical, professor tone)

I burst through the lecture hall wearin’ blood-stained tweed,
Tie crooked, eyes twitchin’, pockets full of needs,
Chalk dust clouds spell “GENIUS” when I sneeze,
Brain wired wrong but the madness precise.

Blackboard covered in equations that bite,
Numbers crawlin’ off the wall, beggin’ for light,
I tap the desk say “FOCUS, PLEASE,”
While a jar full of thoughts hum harmonies.

Students made of whispers, sittin’ real polite,
They nod when I rant ‘bout fear and fright,
I grade on a curve shaped like a grin,
Extra credit if your sanity bends.

⸻

(Verse 2 – sillier chaos, joker swings)

Lab coat flappin’ like it tryna escape,
Syringe tap-dancin’ on a silver tray,
I yell “SCIENCE!” flip a lever too hard,
Whole room smell like burnt memories and sparks.

Beaker start gigglin’, foam turn green,
I scold it like “behave, you embarrassin’ me,”
Brain in a jar yell “I KNOW THIS ONE,”
I shush it gently with a cattle prod hum.

Pop quiz sudden — everybody panic,
Question one: “define manic,”
I answer myself, clap twice, real proud,
Room applaud back… real loud.

⸻

(Verse 3 – asylum influence, playful menace)

Hall monitors wear straitjackets loose,
They chase bad thoughts like geese on the loose,
Bell ring wrong — sound like screams,
I announce “RECESS,” then pull the beam.

Library books bite if you read ‘em straight,
So I skim upside-down, temptin’ fate,
Every page whisper “he’s not right,”
I underline it twice — insight!

I pace the floor givin’ theories on pain,
How laughter’s just pressure tryin’ to escape the brain,
If you crack at the joke — congrats, you pass,
If you don’t — detention in the past.

⸻

(Verse 4 – mad professor peaks)

I built a device from forks and clocks,
It tells the future by mockin’ your thoughts,
I tested it once — it screamed my name,
So I gave it tenure, let it stay.

Graduation hats made of tin and wire,
Diplomas signed “CERTIFIED FIRE,”
I shake their hands with a shock and a grin,
Welcome to the world — class dismissed within.

When the sirens wail and the orderlies stare,
I erase the board, vanish mid-air,
Leave one last note taped under the door:
“Knowledge is power…
MADNESS MORE.”

⸻

(Outro – soft lecture tone, fading laugh)

Homework’s due never…
The test is ongoing…
And the professor?
Still experimentin’.
Heh…
HAHAHAHA—

2529/7500

🧠🧪 “PROFESSOR WACKSIDE’S FINAL EXAM” (Intro – chalk screech, bubbling beakers, muttered laughter) Class… Class? Ah—there you are. Today’s lesson is simple… Try not to scream. HAHAHA— ⸻ (Verse 1 – confident, theatrical, professor tone) I burst through the lecture hall wearin’ blood-stained tweed, Tie crooked, eyes twitchin’, pockets full of needs, Chalk dust clouds spell “GENIUS” when I sneeze, Brain wired wrong but the madness precise. Blackboard covered in equations that bite, Numbers crawlin’ off the wall, beggin’ for light, I tap the desk say “FOCUS, PLEASE,” While a jar full of thoughts hum harmonies. Students made of whispers, sittin’ real polite, They nod when I rant ‘bout fear and fright, I grade on a curve shaped like a grin, Extra credit if your sanity bends. ⸻ (Verse 2 – sillier chaos, joker swings) Lab coat flappin’ like it tryna escape, Syringe tap-dancin’ on a silver tray, I yell “SCIENCE!” flip a lever too hard, Whole room smell like burnt memories and sparks. Beaker start gigglin’, foam turn green, I scold it like “behave, you embarrassin’ me,” Brain in a jar yell “I KNOW THIS ONE,” I shush it gently with a cattle prod hum. Pop quiz sudden — everybody panic, Question one: “define manic,” I answer myself, clap twice, real proud, Room applaud back… real loud. ⸻ (Verse 3 – asylum influence, playful menace) Hall monitors wear straitjackets loose, They chase bad thoughts like geese on the loose, Bell ring wrong — sound like screams, I announce “RECESS,” then pull the beam. Library books bite if you read ‘em straight, So I skim upside-down, temptin’ fate, Every page whisper “he’s not right,” I underline it twice — insight! I pace the floor givin’ theories on pain, How laughter’s just pressure tryin’ to escape the brain, If you crack at the joke — congrats, you pass, If you don’t — detention in the past. ⸻ (Verse 4 – mad professor peaks) I built a device from forks and clocks, It tells the future by mockin’ your thoughts, I tested it once — it screamed my name, So I gave it tenure, let it stay. Graduation hats made of tin and wire, Diplomas signed “CERTIFIED FIRE,” I shake their hands with a shock and a grin, Welcome to the world — class dismissed within. When the sirens wail and the orderlies stare, I erase the board, vanish mid-air, Leave one last note taped under the door: “Knowledge is power… MADNESS MORE.” ⸻ (Outro – soft lecture tone, fading laugh) Homework’s due never… The test is ongoing… And the professor? Still experimentin’. Heh… HAHAHAHA—

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