That's How the Record Went

That's How the Record Went [Intro] They call me Mother. No, sugar— I didn't write your story. I just made sure everybody heard it. [Verse 1] Before they called it liberated Mother already flew Before they preached free thinking Mother thought what Mother knew They wrote their rules for ladies I never understood Climbed aboard that gander And rode him for all he was worth Before the world caught up with me I had places I could go A song inside my feathers And a little dough to grow Found a room, hung out a shingle Put some gold upon the wall When nobody heard the music Mother heard it all [Pre-Chorus] Every fool's got a story Every stray deserves a song Mother hears the little rhythm Everybody else heard wrong [Chorus] Mother got the masters Mother got the gold Mother got a piece of every story that she sold Tell it how you lived it Tell it how you meant Once Mother drops the needle That's how the record went That's how the record went That's how the record went You can argue with Mother, baby But that's how the record went [Verse 2] Saw something in three blind mice They couldn't see themselves Found a little Bo Peep record Gathering dust upon the shelves Jack and Jill came stumbling in With nothing but a tune Humpty had one hell of a single Went to pieces way too soon Muffet came into my office Said, "Mother, that ain't right Spider never scared me I scared that boy half to death that night" I said, "Baby, I believe you Every solitary word But frightened girl meets spider? That's the record people heard." [Chorus] Mother got the masters Mother got the gold Mother got a piece of every story that she sold Tell it how you lived it Tell it how you meant Once Mother drops the needle That's how the record went [Verse 3] Some young rooster in a necktie Tried explaining publishing Mother let him talk a minute Didn't interrupt a thing Then I leaned across the table Said, "Son, before you spread your wings I owned my first damn master Before your daddy learned to sing" Don't come into Mother's house And gander-splain the game I've forgotten more about this business Than you'll ever learn to name Mother never made you who you are Never told you what to be I just heard what you were carrying And made the whole world see [Bridge] They say when Mother wants to wander She rides a mighty gander High above the rooftops Where nobody can command her Is that how it happened? Maybe. Is every word of it true? Sugar— That's what the record says. [Final Chorus] Mother got the masters Mother got the gold Mother put a little music In every tale she told Tell it how you lived it Tell it how you meant Once Mother drops the needle That's how the record went Mother saw the something You couldn't see yourself Mother heard the music Gathering dust upon the shelf You lived the story, baby Mother made it sing And don't you gander-splain to Mother A goddamn thing [Outro] They call me Mother. I've been called worse. And about that gander... He was magnificent.