Murder Mystery Masquerade (Verse 1) It was a dark and stormy Gotham night, Somebody hollered, “Turn on the light!” Superman fainted, Batman squealed, Wonder Woman said, “This crime looks real!” Green Lantern’s ring just fizzled and died, While the Lone Ranger yelled, “Hi-ho, homicide!” And Dick Tracy, cool with his yellow hat, Said, “Somebody’s been bumped… and that’s a fact!” (Chorus) 🎵 Who killed the hero at the masquerade? Was it Clark, was it Bruce, was it some old spade? Could be lanterns, lassos, or a cowboy raid— It’s a whodunit comic-book parade! 🎵 (Verse 2) Batman growled, “It wasn’t me!” Superman whined, “X-ray eyes don’t see!” Wonder Woman snapped her golden rope, Tied ‘em all up just to help her cope. Green Lantern swore, “I’m innocent, man!” But his alibi was built on quicksand. The Lone Ranger tipped his mask and sighed, “Tonto left early—better check his ride.” (Bridge – fast, talk-sung) Then Tracy shouted, “Check the clues! The fingerprints are old comic-book news! There’s lipstick smeared on a Kryptonite rock, A batarang stuck in the grandfather clock! A silver bullet in the punchbowl’s stew, And a note that reads, ‘Guess who?’” (Chorus) 🎵 Who killed the hero at the masquerade? All the tights and capes in a grand charade! Could be lanterns, lassos, or a cowboy raid— It’s a whodunit comic-book parade! 🎵 (Final Verse) At last the butler shuffled in slow, (Yeah, every murder mystery needs one, you know). Said, “Sorry folks, it’s just pretend— The writer couldn’t pick which one to pin!” So the heroes laughed, they clinked their glass, Even Batman cracked a joke at last. But somewhere deep in the comic strip’s shade… The villain grinned, “See ya in the next decade!” (Outro – spoken with music fading) “Case closed… or is it?”
