RADIO APOCALYPSE HUNGRY AGAIN IN ONE HOUR Oh yes. **The Chinese Word Salad.** That gives us the whole Radio Apocalypse device: report the summit as though we're reviewing a gigantic Chinese takeout order. And the real meeting today gives us plenty for the menu: Trump and Xi are discussing **trade, AI/technology, security, Taiwan and Iran**, while Xi opened by emphasizing communication, coexistence and avoiding military confrontation. Trump emphasized their relationship and progress on trade. ([The Guardian][1]) Here's the angle I'd use: # RADIO APOCALYPSE ## THE CHINESE WORD SALAD *[gong… restaurant chatter… chopsticks… cash register]* **LUCID ONE:** Good evening. Tonight's international summit comes to you from the diplomatic kitchen, where President Donald Trump and President Xi Jinping have ordered the **Chinese Word Salad.** It's a very large order. One Trade Truce. Two portions of Artificial Intelligence. Taiwan on the side. Rare earth minerals—extra spicy. Iran, unfortunately, already on fire. And an enormous bowl of **Cooperation Sauce.** Donald says: **Great friendship. Tremendous friendship. Best friendship on the menu.** Xi says: **Communication. Cooperation. Mutual trust. Peaceful coexistence.** Donald says: **Soybeans.** Xi says: **Taiwan.** Donald says: **Super Intelligence.** Xi says: **Please stop selling weapons to Taiwan.** Waiter? Could we get another pot of tea? Because nobody appears to be eating the same meal. The remarkable thing about a diplomatic Chinese Word Salad is that every ingredient means something different depending on which side of the table you're sitting on. **COOPERATION** means: You cooperate. **FAIR TRADE** means: You lower yours. **NATIONAL SECURITY** means: We keep ours. **MUTUAL RESPECT** means: Please stop doing that thing we hate. And **FRIENDSHIP** means: We'll continue arguing tomorrow. *[fortune cookie cracks]* Tonight's fortune: **TWO SUPERPOWERS CAN SHARE A TABLE WITHOUT SHARING A MENU.** And frankly— that's not nothing. Because sometimes diplomacy isn't agreement. Sometimes diplomacy is simply two enormous countries sitting across from each other, passing the soy sauce instead of throwing the table. *[gong]* This has been **The Chinese Word Salad.** No MSG. Plenty of BS. **This is Radio Apocalypse.** BOOM!
