[Intro] (spoken) Welcome to the kitchen, amigo… Don’t ask what’s moving in the pot. You could be SCARED !!!!! aaaaaahhhhh [Verse 1] I came for chilli con carne, I was ready to feast, Big bowl, hot spoon, let the hunger get released. Smelled like heaven, looked like trouble, simmered thick and proud— Then the chef just winked at me and said it out loud: “Beans are boring, meat is fine, but tonight we’re going… eight legs at a time.” [Pre-Chorus] I said, “Hold up—what did you say?” He said, “Relax, you’ll love it, okay?” I saw a little shadow crawl— Then I heard the pot go *tap tap tap* on the wall. [Chorus] Chilli con spiders! Hey! Crunch in the sauce, make your worries go away! Chilli con spiders! Woo! Eight-legged flavor in a spicy stew! No beans, no shame, no lies—just heat, Little crispy dancers in a bowl so sweet. Chilli con spiders! Hey! One bite in and you’re yelling “olé!” [Verse 2] He sprinkled cheese like snowfall, lime on the side, Said “This is grandma’s recipe, with a tiny surprise.” I tried to act normal, I tried to be brave, Then a spider did a backflip right onto my plate. The chef said, “That one’s extra fresh, It jumps in your mouth for the full-court zest.” [Pre-Chorus] I said, “Sir… that’s not a bean.” He said, “True… it’s a protein machine.” I asked, “Do they come in mild?” He said, “No, they come in *wild*.” [Chorus] Chilli con spiders! Hey! Crunch in the sauce, make your worries go away! Chilli con spiders! Woo! Eight-legged flavor in a spicy stew! No beans, no shame, no lies—just heat, Little crispy dancers in a bowl so sweet. Chilli con spiders! Hey! One bite in and you’re yelling “olé!” [Bridge] (breakdown, spoken fast) Step one: stir. Step two: don’t look. Step three: if it waves at you… it’s cooked. (…probably.) [Final Chorus] (bigger, crowd chant) Chilli con spiders! Hey! Crunch in the sauce, make your worries go away! Chilli con spiders! Woo! Eight-legged flavor in a spicy stew! I came for carne, I stayed for the bite, Now I’m dreaming of webs every single night! Chilli con spiders! Hey! Best worst dinner of my life—olé! [Outro] (whispered) …who put the lid back on?
