Myself & Me

Sensual, Sexy, 1980S After-Hours Club Noir, Minimal Microhouse × Laptop Folktronica × Deep Dream House, But Styled Through An Erotic Late-Night 80S Lens: Smoked Mirrors, Neon Blush, Black Satin, Lacquered Lips, Body Heat, Perfume Caught In Cigarette Haze, Fragile And Intimate, But More Seductive Now, Tight Soft 4/4 Groove With Delicate Micro-Click Rim, Muted Kick, Feathered Hats, Warm Restrained Sub, Hazy Pads, Long Delays, Vinyl Hiss, Soft Analog Glow, Add Subtle 80S Cues Without Turning It Into Retro Pastiche: Faint Nightclub Synth Sheen, Soft Velvet Chord Washes, Sensual Dub Echoes, Breath-Close Whispered Ad-Libs, And A Decadent Midnight Atmosphere, Fragrance Language Should Feel Luxe And Carnal: Tobacco, Black Cherry, Frankincense Smoke, Saffron Warmth, Patchouli Shadow, Dried Rose, Honeyed Skin, Sandalwood, Labdanum, Vanilla Absolute, Musk, Overall Mood: Erotic, Expensive, Nocturnal, Intimate, Slow-Burn, Afterparty Seduction

# [Spoken Intro]

People keep asking if I’m “still growing up.”

Technically, yes.
Kitchen, four p.m.
Achievement unlocked: consumed something that wasn’t beige.

If that’s not commonwealth-level progress,
you’ve clearly never attempted self-improvement
with this much repressed emotion.

-----

[Verse 1]
Pour my premium blend of “God Save the Routine”
Single origin delays, steeped in proper avoidance, innit
Table dressed like the Queen’s coming for tea between
Obligations, she’s not, just me and my empire of lint
Hound’s appointed Lord Chancellor of Napping
One ear Royal Assent, conducting state reviews
Alerts for postmen, sleeps through actual happenings
Absolutely useless, ready for his MBE debut

Device illuminates “You elevated your station yet?”
Mate, I’ve elevated to standing, that’s quite enough
My holdings include saucers and institutional regret
Plus an appliance having a crisis more dramatic than Philip’s last gaffe
You want property? A spouse? Meal schedules that impress?
I’ve got a plant that’s technically breathing, God bless

[Chorus]
Got a setting arranged for me
Chipped china, no peerage or OBE
Just me, subjects (one’s furry), low sovereignty
You can keep your documented aristocracy
I’ve got kettle-based monarchy
And proof I peaked during A-levels, tragically

[Verse 2]
Heating unit’s calendar stuck in pre-Brexit times
Essentially declared “chronology’s a European plot, dismissed”
Basin’s preserving evidence of what “later” defines
I call it “historical preservation,” it’s very British
Digital collective’s detonating with coronation-worthy wins
Someone’s got deeds, someone’s propagating bloodlines successfully
I’ve archived notifications I can’t emotionally process, quite thin-skinned
“Exhausting, having a future worth announcing officially”

Hound’s conducting palace guard-level assessments
Investigates baseboards, confirms the realm holds
Compensated entirely in crumbs and royal appointments
Alerts for squirrels but not for collapsing family folds
Landlord dispatches regarding “Crown Estate maintenance”
I boil water again, that’s fiscal policy through avoidance

[Chorus]
Got a setting arranged for me
Linen folded like I’ve mastered the ceremony
Fabric mirrors my credibility
Frayed like the Commonwealth’s unity
Keep the markers and the jubilee
I’m still awaiting my investiture, patiently

[Bridge]
Attempted the “functioning subject” expansion
Nodded when they mentioned “gilt-edged securities,” right
Maintained composure through “pension provision”
Searched “what’s a favorable exchange rate” late at night

Now my development profile includes
One lamp, unchanged since the last jubilee rotation
One cooling box humming “Rule Britannia” in disapproving moods
Canine respiration proving something needs my taxation
Appliance climax, only treaty I’ve successfully maintained
Like royal marriages, except this one’s less publicly strained

Unfortunate? One finds it conceivable
More affordable than manufactured respectability?
Quite measurable, actually

[Chorus]
Got a setting arranged for me
Hound judging from the succession seat
No estates, no honorary degree
Just heated philosophy and dignified defeat
You pursue ascension till age bracket three
I’ll pursue the remnants of my youthful mystique
Whole kingdom’s progressing apparently
Mine’s just buffering, terribly British, discreet

[Outro]
If you require my whereabouts
I’m addressing the “Suspended Maturation Summit”
Broadcasting from the scullery
Supporting performance: Hound
(Credentials: Present, loyal subject, hasn’t defected)

No encore performance
But we conduct daily proceedings
Every rotation concluding with
“Ah yes, this must be that ‘potential’ they mentioned at Eton”

Obligations: under consideration
Appliance: Prime Minister of kitchen cabinet
Hound: appointed Duke of Doing Absolutely Nothing

Welcome to arrested development
The biscuits are stale but frightfully proper
Keep calm and carry on disappointing everyone

*God save our gracious kettle*

[Intro – breathing/static hiss, layered whispers]
Mind lost in my mind… (echo)
*(mind… mind… mind…)*
My mind… (echo)
*(lost… lost… lost…)*

[Verse 1 – fragmented/spoken, distant voices layering]
Lost in
*(lost in, lost in)*
My mind
*(my mind, my mind)*
I swear
I tried—
*(tried… tried… tried…)*
Forgot my name,
*(name… name…)*
some things
not the same.
*(not the same, not the same, not the same)*
Insane?
*(insane… insane…)*
You don’t say?
*(don’t say, don’t say, don’t say)*

[Pre-Chorus – whispered, building, harmonies weaving]
Pray—
*(pray, pray, pray)*
that’s why I pray.
*(why I pray… why I pray…)*
Don’t you see?
*(see… see… see…)*
It’s myself and me,
*(myself and me, myself and me)*
but maybe
not what you think…
*(what you think… think… think…)*

[Chorus – distorted, manic energy, gang vocals]
Selfishness
*(selfishness, selfishness)*
disguised,
*(disguised, disguised)*
incognito—
*(incognito, incognito, incognito)*
“I CHOOSE ME!!”
*(CHOOSE ME, CHOOSE ME, CHOOSE ME)*
Oh so healthy,
*(healthy… healthy…)*
selflessly
*(selflessly, selflessly)*
sserving
self.
*(self… self… self… self…)*

[Verse 2 – laughter breaks through, unhinged, echoes multiply]
Almost got me!
*(got me, got me, got me)*
*(hehehehe)*
*(hehehehe, hehehehe)*
*(got me giggling)*
*(giggling, giggling, giggling)*
During a tragedy?!
*(tragedy… tragedy… tragedy…)*
Yes indeed—
*(indeed, indeed, indeed)*
standing ovation,
*(ovation… ovation…)*
self-serving nation.
*(nation, nation, nation, nation)*

[Bridge – shouted/raw, a capella voices building chaos]
I scream:
*(scream… scream… SCREAM…)*
“AN ABOMINATION!!!”
*(abomination, abomination, ABOMINATION)*
One eye blind—
*(blind… blind… blind…)*
can’t you fuckin’ see???
*(SEE, SEE, CAN’T YOU SEE)*
Argh, matey…
*(matey… matey… argh…)*

[Outro – defeated, distant, voices fading like ghosts]
No nation built for me…
*(for me… for me… for me…)*
*(no nation… no nation…)*
*(built for me… me… me…)*
(static fade, breathing slows, whispers dissolve)
*(mind… lost… mind…)*

incognito—
selflessly
*( selflessly,  selflessly)*
sserving
self.
*( self…  self…  self…  self…)*

[Verse 2 – laughter breaks through, unhinged, echoes multiply]
Almost  got  me!
*( got  me,  got  me,  got  me)*
During  a  tragedy?!
*( tragedy…  tragedy…  tragedy…)*
Yes  indeed—
*( indeed,  indeed,  indeed)*
standing  ovation,
*( ovation…  ovation…)*
self-serving  nation.
*( nation,  nation,  nation,  nation)*

[Bridge – shouted/raw, a capella voices building chaos]
I  scream:
*( scream…  scream…  SCREAM…)*
“ AN  ABOMINATION!!!”
No  nation  built  for  me…
No  nation  built  for  me…

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# [Spoken Intro] People keep asking if I’m “still growing up.” Technically, yes. Kitchen, four p.m. Achievement unlocked: consumed something that wasn’t beige. If that’s not commonwealth-level progress, you’ve clearly never attempted self-improvement with this much repressed emotion. ----- [Verse 1] Pour my premium blend of “God Save the Routine” Single origin delays, steeped in proper avoidance, innit Table dressed like the Queen’s coming for tea between Obligations, she’s not, just me and my empire of lint Hound’s appointed Lord Chancellor of Napping One ear Royal Assent, conducting state reviews Alerts for postmen, sleeps through actual happenings Absolutely useless, ready for his MBE debut Device illuminates “You elevated your station yet?” Mate, I’ve elevated to standing, that’s quite enough My holdings include saucers and institutional regret Plus an appliance having a crisis more dramatic than Philip’s last gaffe You want property? A spouse? Meal schedules that impress? I’ve got a plant that’s technically breathing, God bless [Chorus] Got a setting arranged for me Chipped china, no peerage or OBE Just me, subjects (one’s furry), low sovereignty You can keep your documented aristocracy I’ve got kettle-based monarchy And proof I peaked during A-levels, tragically [Verse 2] Heating unit’s calendar stuck in pre-Brexit times Essentially declared “chronology’s a European plot, dismissed” Basin’s preserving evidence of what “later” defines I call it “historical preservation,” it’s very British Digital collective’s detonating with coronation-worthy wins Someone’s got deeds, someone’s propagating bloodlines successfully I’ve archived notifications I can’t emotionally process, quite thin-skinned “Exhausting, having a future worth announcing officially” Hound’s conducting palace guard-level assessments Investigates baseboards, confirms the realm holds Compensated entirely in crumbs and royal appointments Alerts for squirrels but not for collapsing family folds Landlord dispatches regarding “Crown Estate maintenance” I boil water again, that’s fiscal policy through avoidance [Chorus] Got a setting arranged for me Linen folded like I’ve mastered the ceremony Fabric mirrors my credibility Frayed like the Commonwealth’s unity Keep the markers and the jubilee I’m still awaiting my investiture, patiently [Bridge] Attempted the “functioning subject” expansion Nodded when they mentioned “gilt-edged securities,” right Maintained composure through “pension provision” Searched “what’s a favorable exchange rate” late at night Now my development profile includes One lamp, unchanged since the last jubilee rotation One cooling box humming “Rule Britannia” in disapproving moods Canine respiration proving something needs my taxation Appliance climax, only treaty I’ve successfully maintained Like royal marriages, except this one’s less publicly strained Unfortunate? One finds it conceivable More affordable than manufactured respectability? Quite measurable, actually [Chorus] Got a setting arranged for me Hound judging from the succession seat No estates, no honorary degree Just heated philosophy and dignified defeat You pursue ascension till age bracket three I’ll pursue the remnants of my youthful mystique Whole kingdom’s progressing apparently Mine’s just buffering, terribly British, discreet [Outro] If you require my whereabouts I’m addressing the “Suspended Maturation Summit” Broadcasting from the scullery Supporting performance: Hound (Credentials: Present, loyal subject, hasn’t defected) No encore performance But we conduct daily proceedings Every rotation concluding with “Ah yes, this must be that ‘potential’ they mentioned at Eton” Obligations: under consideration Appliance: Prime Minister of kitchen cabinet Hound: appointed Duke of Doing Absolutely Nothing Welcome to arrested development The biscuits are stale but frightfully proper Keep calm and carry on disappointing everyone *God save our gracious kettle* [Intro – breathing/static hiss, layered whispers] Mind lost in my mind… (echo) *(mind… mind… mind…)* My mind… (echo) *(lost… lost… lost…)* [Verse 1 – fragmented/spoken, distant voices layering] Lost in *(lost in, lost in)* My mind *(my mind, my mind)* I swear I tried— *(tried… tried… tried…)* Forgot my name, *(name… name…)* some things not the same. *(not the same, not the same, not the same)* Insane? *(insane… insane…)* You don’t say? *(don’t say, don’t say, don’t say)* [Pre-Chorus – whispered, building, harmonies weaving] Pray— *(pray, pray, pray)* that’s why I pray. *(why I pray… why I pray…)* Don’t you see? *(see… see… see…)* It’s myself and me, *(myself and me, myself and me)* but maybe not what you think… *(what you think… think… think…)* [Chorus – distorted, manic energy, gang vocals] Selfishness *(selfishness, selfishness)* disguised, *(disguised, disguised)* incognito— *(incognito, incognito, incognito)* “I CHOOSE ME!!” *(CHOOSE ME, CHOOSE ME, CHOOSE ME)* Oh so healthy, *(healthy… healthy…)* selflessly *(selflessly, selflessly)* sserving self. *(self… self… self… self…)* [Verse 2 – laughter breaks through, unhinged, echoes multiply] Almost got me! *(got me, got me, got me)* *(hehehehe)* *(hehehehe, hehehehe)* *(got me giggling)* *(giggling, giggling, giggling)* During a tragedy?! *(tragedy… tragedy… tragedy…)* Yes indeed— *(indeed, indeed, indeed)* standing ovation, *(ovation… ovation…)* self-serving nation. *(nation, nation, nation, nation)* [Bridge – shouted/raw, a capella voices building chaos] I scream: *(scream… scream… SCREAM…)* “AN ABOMINATION!!!” *(abomination, abomination, ABOMINATION)* One eye blind— *(blind… blind… blind…)* can’t you fuckin’ see??? *(SEE, SEE, CAN’T YOU SEE)* Argh, matey… *(matey… matey… argh…)* [Outro – defeated, distant, voices fading like ghosts] No nation built for me… *(for me… for me… for me…)* *(no nation… no nation…)* *(built for me… me… me…)* (static fade, breathing slows, whispers dissolve) *(mind… lost… mind…)* incognito— selflessly *( selflessly, selflessly)* sserving self. *( self… self… self… self…)* [Verse 2 – laughter breaks through, unhinged, echoes multiply] Almost got me! *( got me, got me, got me)* During a tragedy?! *( tragedy… tragedy… tragedy…)* Yes indeed— *( indeed, indeed, indeed)* standing ovation, *( ovation… ovation…)* self-serving nation. *( nation, nation, nation, nation)* [Bridge – shouted/raw, a capella voices building chaos] I scream: *( scream… scream… SCREAM…)* “ AN ABOMINATION!!!” No nation built for me… No nation built for me…

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