Forty years alive. Thirty years knowing who I was, even when I didn’t know what to do with that truth. Sixteen years trying to drink it out of my head. Eight years in the military because I thought maybe discipline, structure, or sheer force of will would somehow “straighten me out.” There were failed relationships. A child I haven’t seen in more than ten years. Three suicide attempts. Years spent fighting myself, running from myself, and trying to become someone I was never going to be. Then came acceptance. And even after that, there was still more waiting. More than two years of trying to get financially stable enough to finally reach this point. Today, I did. For the first time in my life, I get to stop existing around the truth of who I am and actually start living it. That means more to me than I can properly put into words. To the people who were there, who supported me, who celebrated with me, who checked in, who listened, and who made this countdown feel like something worth sharing: thank you. And to the people who showed me their truths along the way, thank you too. Some truths were beautiful. Some were painful. All of them taught me something. This day marks another ending as well. This will be the final track I publish publicly on Suno. I’m grateful for what the platform has allowed me to create, but as a content creator, I no longer feel there is anything for me to build toward there beyond the act of creating itself. I don’t blame Suno for that, and this isn’t meant as some dramatic statement against the platform. It’s simply the point where I’ve decided to move forward. If you’ve enjoyed the music, the writing, the experiments, the chaos, the heavy moments, the stupid moments, and everything in between, I’m not disappearing. I’m just moving. From here on out, new content will be on YouTube. To everyone who listened, supported, stayed, or found something of themselves in what I made: Thank you. This chapter closes on the same day another one finally begins. After forty years... I get to live.
