Verse 1 Frosty the snowman’s a bellend, it’s true, With his stupid top hat and his coal-eyed crew. Rudolph’s an alkie, you can tell by his nose, Glowing bright like a pub sign wherever he goes. Chorus Oh, Christmas cheer? Don’t bring it here, The lies, the myths, the fakes! It’s a holiday of hypocrites, And overpriced fruitcakes. Verse 2 Jesus was a liar, a magician at best, Turning water into wine for a party guest. If he pulled his tricks today, let’s face it, my friend, He’d be on YouTube next to David Blaine’s trend. Chorus Oh, Christmas cheer? Don’t bring it here, The myths we’re meant to adore. This festive fluff’s just not enough— Let’s kick it out the door. Bridge Little donkey’s face, pulling off his sad lies, Dragging Mary’s load like a martyr in disguise. Father Christmas creeping down your chimney tonight— Lock the doors, don’t let him in, that bloke’s not right! Verse 3 Elves in the workshop, working night and day, A sweatshop for toys—what’s the hourly pay? This season of joy is a capitalist plot, A Hallmark dream they’re selling, but I’m not buying the rot. Final Chorus Oh, Christmas cheer? Don’t bring it here, The glitter hides the fraud. Let’s rewrite this story, in all its gory, And strike down this façade. Outro So shove your tinsel, your carols, your "merry" refrain— I’ll be having none of it, let’s call it by its name. A season of lies, where truth takes a backseat, This anti-Christmas anthem is all I’ll repeat.
