[VERSE 1] It started off so innocent, Rose petals, Marvin Gaye, your hips in that silhouette… One kiss turned to tangled sheets, Now there’s TWO LINES where that “-” used to be! [PRE-CHORUS] Oh no, oh no—this wasn’t the plan! Romance mode: ON, common sense: RAN! Candlelit night, TWO-BUCK champagne… Didn’t know “dessert” came with a LAST NAME CHANGE! [CHORUS] Oops… didn’t pull out in time! Now my Friday nights smell like baby shampoo and lime! Oops… Cupid’s got bad aim— Traded my sports car for a stroller frame! Oops… next year, let’s agree: Love is blind, but WRAP THE V! [VERSE 2] Doc said, “Daddy, breathe—don’t pass out!” My credit score dropped as she laughed out loud. Checked the calendar, did the math… Turns out “I love you” has a 9-month aftermath! [PRE-CHORUS] Thought I was slick, thought I’d be fine, But now I’m Googling “how to dad” at 3 AM online! Should’ve skipped the wine, bought a vault… Now my bank account’s screaming “DIAPERS AIN’T MY FAULT!” [CHORUS] Oops … didn’t pull out in time! Now my “midnight snack” is warming bottles in the nursery! Oops… life just flipped the script— My “Netflix and chill”? It’s Cocomelon on REPEAT! Oops… my gym gains are dead— Who needs biceps when you’ve got DAD STRENGTH INSTEAD? [BRIDGE] Maybe it’s fate, maybe divine, Maybe just bad luck with a 99-cent wine… But your laugh’s my new favorite sound, Even if my “best years” are BURIED IN BABY SOUND! [FINAL CHORUS – TWIN-SIZED CHAOS] Oops… my life’s a meme now— And guess what? SURPRISE… IT’S TWINS NOW! [OUTRO] Valentine’s magic, they said… “light a spark!” Next year, babe—let’s just order in… and PARK THE CAR.
