"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen... welcome to the lounge. Tonight, I’d like to slow things down and sing a little love song... well, a diss track, really... for a very special, very sensitive guy named Soul. Hit it, boys..." (Upright bass walks in, smooth swing rhythm, snappy finger snaps) (Verse 1) Oh, look at little Soul, snuggled up in his chair, A sleepy lil fucker with a permanent glare. He’s got super-human hearing—yeah, he hears every sound, The quietest pin drop for miles around! He's a punk-ass bitch, yeah, it's true what they say, But you can’t help but love the guy anyway... (Chorus) (Big band jazz swell, cheeky brass accents) Oh, Soul, baby, you’re a piece of work! A smooth-talking, mute-button-slapping jerk! You’re constantly crashing out, losing your mind, The most hyper-sensitive ears that you ever will find! (Verse 2) (Swing tempo picks up) Stream D scratches his beard—oh, the agony! Soul jumps out of his skin at the auditory tragedy! He swears Stream D is breathing entirely too loud, And the sound of desk fans turns him sour in a crowd. So what’s his favorite tool when the audio shoots? He hits that mute button... oh, so astute! I just laugh in his face, throw a troll in the chat: "Aww, look at you muting me—it’s so cute when you do that!" (Bridge) (Slow, sultry jazz breakdown, muted trumpet) He’s out here competing, playing a slow-burn game, Dropping single bitties just to one-up D's name. One bit at a time, trying to steal the show, While he pops another totem just to stay down low! No one goes through totems as fast as Soul, Crashing his hardcore, losing control. So many soulless worlds littered on the floor... Yet he boots up another one, ready for more! (Chorus) (Full big band climax, soulful lounge croon) Oh, Soul, baby, you’re a punk-ass bitch! A sleepy lil guy with an eardrum twitch! Muting the call when the fans blow air, Crashing right out over beard-scratch care! (Outro) (Tempo slows down to a soft, classy lounge finale) Yeah... too many soulless worlds left in the dust, But loving this sleepy fucker is an absolute must. So keep muting the stream, baby... (Spoken smoothly into the mic with a glass clink) ...and tell Stream D to stop breathing so loud. Goodnight, everybody! (Rimshot, piano glissando, cymbal tap)
