The Holiday Season and Inner Healing After Being Widowed

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The Holiday Season 
and Inner Healing 
after being 
widowed on
September 13, 1999 
and now in 
November 2000, 
these are my 
thoughts.

Inner healing of 
emotional issues, 
losses, hurts of the 
past, the suffering 
that tears me apart 
from within, etc. 
seems to involve 
at least four basic 
prayer methods.

One, prayer for 
repentance for 
personal sin.

Two, prayer for 
inner healing for 
emotional  
problems.

Three, prayer for 
physical healing for 
physical sickness.

Four, prayer for 
deliverance or 
exorcism for 
demonic 
oppression.

The challenge 
seems to be to 
develop the 
discernment to 
figure out what 
is wrong and 
choose the 
appropriate type 
of prayer to use.

I have to be aware 
not only of my gifts, 
but of my limitations. 
I have to ask myself, 
what is the basic 
problem, what is it's 
basic cause and 
what kind of prayer 
should I use. 
Often, I need 
other people to help 
me with this process. 
In my studies with 
Father Vince, I began 
to see things very 
differently than I had 
in the past and it is 
getting a little easier 
to recognize what 
is wrong.

For me, psychological 
stress is destructive, 
not redemptive. 
When someone 
talks to me about
the redemptive 
value of suffering or 
illness I have a hard 
time with that.
Healing of memories 
has been essential for 
me to move on with 
my life. 
Strange as it 
may sound, it is not 
just the bad memories 
that needed healing 
but good memories 
as well.

I cannot allow 
myself to get stuck 
in or obsess about 
a good memory, 
for then 
it becomes a 
destructive force 
and I am stuck in
the past, not fully 
present in the 
moment.

I am not saying that 
I have to 'forget' 
good memories, 
rather that I must
see them for 
what they are, 
that they 
are in the past, 
not the present. 
So, one aspect 
of inner healing is 
where God can 
take my memories 
of the past and 
heal me from the 
inner wounds that 
still remain in my 
memory and affect 
my present life 
and God can fill 
me with His/Her 
love in all the 
places that have 
remained empty. 
Usually, I cannot 
do this alone. 
That is when I 
go to the church 
community for help, 
especially the 
charismatic prayer 
group and a 
spiritual director.

I know I need inner 
healing when I am 
held down in any way 
by the hurts 
of the past whether 
it be loss, fear, 
anxiety, abandonment, 
anger, depression or 
some other kind of 
bondage.

I have to bring to
light the things that 
have hurt me and pray, 
asking God to heal 
the effects of 
whatever it is.

I find it impossible 
to be at peace or 
rest in the Spirit if 
I am in need of 
inner healing. 
It is like my heart
is restless until 
I heal the negative 
thing or hurt that 
binds me. 
I have to work 
at being still, 
quiet enough to 
listen to the 
Holy Spirit. 
I have to trust 
that God is
working through the 
people He/She puts 
in my life.

I have to seek 
genuine spiritual 
guidance and be 
open to positive 
inspiration.

My own experience 
of God's healing love 
has varied greatly 
over time and 
through different 
circumstances.

In Mark 11:24 
"Everything you ask 
and pray for, believe 
that you have 
it already, 
and it will be yours" 
sounds so wonderful, 
yet it is sometimes 
hard to have that gift 
of faith when 
overwhelmed by 
current events.

I know from my own 
experience that there 
is never a time when 
prayer doesn't help 
me, especially when 
losses are at the 
root of sadness ,
or loneliness, 
or depression.

I like November
because the Book 
of Remembrance 
in the church always 
makes me feel 
closer to those 
whose names I've 
entered into it. 
It's as if I can feel 
their presence. 
It also reminds me
of the good in
each of them. 
I think that is part of 
what the whole inner 
healing subject 
is about,
praying ourselves 
and accepting the 
prayers of the
faith community. 
It is inviting the 
Holy Spirit into all 
the empty places 
inside us, to fill us
up, comfort us and
give us the courage 
to face each day.

I expect some of  
your thought will 
address this need in 
addition to the whole 
idea of creating new 
traditions and 
new family rituals 
with the people 
who are still present 
in our lives.

I found the first
Christmas alone was 
hard to describe, 
a sort of bouncing 
around between
numb, angry, sad,
etc.

The little guy who 
was 8 was a source  
of strength, as I had 
to keep going to make 
his holidays as good 
as possible under the
circumstances and 
to try and ease my 
husband's parents 
pain at losing their 
youngest child.

I was so busy propping 
up other people, 
I didn't get to take 
proper care of myself. 
I've had to spend 
this year building 
and expanding 
my support network 
in many ways 
including family, 
friends, coworkers, 
professional help, 
and spiritual helpers.

I am sure each of you 
must have developed 
a group of coping 
strategies as well. 
I hope they can 
provide you with 
the different kinds 
of support 
you need on 
any given day.

Healing for you.

5004/7500

The Holiday Season and Inner Healing after being widowed on September 13, 1999 and now in November 2000, these are my thoughts. Inner healing of emotional issues, losses, hurts of the past, the suffering that tears me apart from within, etc. seems to involve at least four basic prayer methods. One, prayer for repentance for personal sin. Two, prayer for inner healing for emotional problems. Three, prayer for physical healing for physical sickness. Four, prayer for deliverance or exorcism for demonic oppression. The challenge seems to be to develop the discernment to figure out what is wrong and choose the appropriate type of prayer to use. I have to be aware not only of my gifts, but of my limitations. I have to ask myself, what is the basic problem, what is it's basic cause and what kind of prayer should I use. Often, I need other people to help me with this process. In my studies with Father Vince, I began to see things very differently than I had in the past and it is getting a little easier to recognize what is wrong. For me, psychological stress is destructive, not redemptive. When someone talks to me about the redemptive value of suffering or illness I have a hard time with that. Healing of memories has been essential for me to move on with my life. Strange as it may sound, it is not just the bad memories that needed healing but good memories as well. I cannot allow myself to get stuck in or obsess about a good memory, for then it becomes a destructive force and I am stuck in the past, not fully present in the moment. I am not saying that I have to 'forget' good memories, rather that I must see them for what they are, that they are in the past, not the present. So, one aspect of inner healing is where God can take my memories of the past and heal me from the inner wounds that still remain in my memory and affect my present life and God can fill me with His/Her love in all the places that have remained empty. Usually, I cannot do this alone. That is when I go to the church community for help, especially the charismatic prayer group and a spiritual director. I know I need inner healing when I am held down in any way by the hurts of the past whether it be loss, fear, anxiety, abandonment, anger, depression or some other kind of bondage. I have to bring to light the things that have hurt me and pray, asking God to heal the effects of whatever it is. I find it impossible to be at peace or rest in the Spirit if I am in need of inner healing. It is like my heart is restless until I heal the negative thing or hurt that binds me. I have to work at being still, quiet enough to listen to the Holy Spirit. I have to trust that God is working through the people He/She puts in my life. I have to seek genuine spiritual guidance and be open to positive inspiration. My own experience of God's healing love has varied greatly over time and through different circumstances. In Mark 11:24 "Everything you ask and pray for, believe that you have it already, and it will be yours" sounds so wonderful, yet it is sometimes hard to have that gift of faith when overwhelmed by current events. I know from my own experience that there is never a time when prayer doesn't help me, especially when losses are at the root of sadness , or loneliness, or depression. I like November because the Book of Remembrance in the church always makes me feel closer to those whose names I've entered into it. It's as if I can feel their presence. It also reminds me of the good in each of them. I think that is part of what the whole inner healing subject is about, praying ourselves and accepting the prayers of the faith community. It is inviting the Holy Spirit into all the empty places inside us, to fill us up, comfort us and give us the courage to face each day. I expect some of your thought will address this need in addition to the whole idea of creating new traditions and new family rituals with the people who are still present in our lives. I found the first Christmas alone was hard to describe, a sort of bouncing around between numb, angry, sad, etc. The little guy who was 8 was a source of strength, as I had to keep going to make his holidays as good as possible under the circumstances and to try and ease my husband's parents pain at losing their youngest child. I was so busy propping up other people, I didn't get to take proper care of myself. I've had to spend this year building and expanding my support network in many ways including family, friends, coworkers, professional help, and spiritual helpers. I am sure each of you must have developed a group of coping strategies as well. I hope they can provide you with the different kinds of support you need on any given day. Healing for you.

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