Today I woke up, I had a plan, I’d save the world — just like a man! The apocalypse was on its way, So I thought, “I’ll fix it all today!” But there was one small problem, see: I’m completely useless, honestly. I didn’t finish school, I’m no genius, My greatest skill is… being ridiculous. So I watched TikTok late last night, And thought, “Yeah, those guys got it right!” I found some glue, hit the street, And stuck myself beneath my feet! I’m calling Greta, Greta, save the day! I’m calling Greta — what’s her name anyway? The spell won’t work, I’ve lost the clue, I forgot her last name — what am I gonna do? I wanna drink, I wanna eat, I’m glued forever to this street! I wanna go home, I wanna see my Ma Greta, save the world… But save me first, ha-ha! I closed my eyes and raised my hand, Prepared to save the planet as planned. “Great spirit Greta, hear my call!” Then suddenly… nothing at all. I tried again: “Greta… uh… Green?” “Greta… Swedish climate queen?” “Greta… um… what rhymes with ‘Thun’?” Oh no. The magic spell is done. Then sirens came — I felt so brave, “At last! The superheroes came to save!” But the police just walked right by, They didn’t even ask me why. I’m calling Greta, Greta, save the day! I’m calling Greta — please don’t walk away! The world can wait, the Earth can too, I’ve got much more important things to do! I wanna drink, I wanna eat, I’m still attached to this concrete! I wanna go home, I wanna see my Ma Greta, save the world… But save me first, ha-ha! The planet’s burning? That’s concerning. The apocalypse? Okay, I’m learning. But first I’ve got a bigger plight: I’m stuck to pavement day and night! Someone please bring me some water, Someone please call my mother! Forget the fate of humankind I’ve got a sandwich on my mind! Greta, Greta, if you hear this song, Please come and tell me where I went wrong! I tried to be a hero, tried to save us all, But now I’m just a human traffic cone on asphalt! I wanna drink, I wanna eat, I wanna get back on my feet! The world can wait — just for today… Greta, save me first! Then save the world, okay? “Wait… what was her last name?” …Thunberg. “OH COME ON!”
