[Verse 1] They put me in a corset and they told me to be sweet But I’m kicking up the cobblestones on every single street I was supposed to be a Governess, a quiet little mouse But I’ve started up a riot in this aristocratic house! I’m teaching all the children how to scream and how to fight We’re burning all the needlepoint in the middle of the night Patience Goodfellow is bored and I can see why She’s joining my resistance, we’re the smudge in your eye! [Chorus] I’m a historical liability A thorn in the side of your polite society I won’t spin the wool and I won’t hold my tongue I’m the loudest anthem that has ever been sung From the manor house to the village square I’m the girl with the dirt and the mess in her hair! [Verse 2] Now I’m in the tavern, pouring pints of bitter ale But I’m checking every ledger and I’m setting up a sale "Buy one for the lady, but she’s taking half your gold" I’m the worst Bar Lady that this town has ever hold! I’m spilling all the secrets and I’m starting up a brawl I’ve got a "Smash the System" poster pasted on the wall Thaddeus Muck is crying 'cause I called him out for greed I’m the kind of barmaid that you definitely don't need! [Bridge] (Distorted bass solo, drums pounding a tribal beat) Oh, you think that shit's bad? You ain't seen nothing yet! [Verse 3] I’m supposed to be a Milkmaid, out among the cows But I’m leading an uprising and I’m making sacred vows! I’m not churning butter, I’m just painting on the barn I’m tired of the village and their endless balls of yarn "Is that a hex, Miss Claudette? No, it's just my point of view!" I’m the Matchmaker from hell and I’m breaking up the queue I told the Mayor’s daughter she should run away and sing I’m the worst Farm Girl to ever wear a ring! [Chorus 2] I’m a historical liability A total train wreck for the whole community I’m dropping the pitcher and I’m ringing the bell I’m sending this village straight to historical hell From the manor house to the palace gate I’m the girl you’re gonna love to hate! [Melodic Riff] (Gritty, feedback-heavy octave chords with a driving, distorted bass line) [Outro] I’m not your Governess! I’m not your Barmaid! The cows are on strike! And I’m not afraid! [End]
