If I'm ever in a band, I've got the name. I've got the name. Now somebody learn to play. We found a bass with only three strings, A broken amp that smells of old things. Dave's got drums and somewhere to practise. Dave's mum says we're bloody hopeless. We wrote a song. It took all evening. Two whole chords and heavy breathing. The neighbours know the chorus now. They bang along. We take a bow. Bark, bark! It's the skin of a tree In the dog-walking park! Bark, bark! It's a noise that we make When we don't know our part! We're The Evil Dogs! We're The Evil Dogs! All that bite and nowhere to start. Bark, bark! It's the skin of a tree In the dog-walking park! We've got a van. It doesn't travel. We've got a crowd. It's mostly gravel. We played outside to passing faces. Two dogs stopped. We're going places. One ran off with our set list. One stayed put and looked quite pissed. We signed his ball. He ate the ink. That's more commitment than you think. Sit! Stay! Absolutely not today. Fetch! Heel! Someone tell us how to feel. Bark, bark! It's the skin of a tree In the dog-walking park! Bark, bark! It's a noise that we make When we don't know our part! We're The Evil Dogs! We're The Evil Dogs! All that bite and nowhere to start. Bark, bark! It's the skin of a tree In the dog-walking park! Bad dog! Good tune! Too loud! Too soon! Bad dog! Good tune! Your mum says We can use the room! They say we need direction. We say we've got a name. They say we need a singer. We say it sounds the same. We want to bite the hand that feeds. We want to tear the place apart. But someone brought us sandwiches. We've had a little change of heart. One more chord! One more try! Keep it going! Don't ask why! One more chord! Make it hurt! Dave's still wearing His work shirt! Bark, bark! It's the skin of a tree In the dog-walking park! Bark, bark! It's a noise that we make When we don't know our part! We're The Evil Dogs! We're The Evil Dogs! We've got fleas and a terrible van. Bark, bark! It's the skin of a tree! That's the song! That's the whole damn plan! We're The Evil Dogs! We're The Evil Dogs! Bad dog! Good tune! We're The Evil Dogs! We're The Evil Dogs! Same time next week, In Dave's spare room!
