Are you the manager? (Yes.) You gonna be the coach too? (Yes.) And you don't know the fellows' names? (Well I should.) Well then who's on first? (Yes.) I mean the fellow's name? (Who.) The guy on first? (Who.) The first baseman? (Who.) The guy playing... (Who is on first!) I'm asking you who's on first. (That's the man's name. ) That's who's name? (Yes.) Well go ahead and tell me. (That's it.) That's who? (Yes. …) Look, you gotta first baseman? (Certainly.) Who's playing first? (That's right.) When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? (Every dollar of it. And why not, he earned it.) All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base. (Who.) The guy that gets... (That's it.) Who gets the money... (He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Who's wife? (Yes. …)[pause](What's wrong with that?) I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name? (Who.) The guy. (Who.) How does he sign... (That's how he signs it.) Who? (Yes.) All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base. (No. What is on second base.) I'm not asking you who's on second. (Who's on first.) One base at a time! (Well, don't change the players around.) I'm not changing nobody! (Take it easy, buddy.) I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? (That's right.) Okay. (Alright. [PAUSE]) What's the guy's name on first base? (No. What is on second.) I'm not asking you who's on second. (Who's on first.) I don't know. (He's on third, we're not talking about him.) Now how did I get on third base? (You mentioned his name.) If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? (No. Who's playing first.) What's on base? (What's on second.) I don't know. (He's on third.) There I go, back on third again! [PAUSE] Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. (Alright, what do you want to know? Now who's playing third base? (Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? What am I putting on third. (No. What is on second. You don't want who on second? (Who is on first. I don't know. [Together:] Third base! (Third base!) Look, you gotta outfield? (Sure.) The left fielder's name? (Why.) I just thought I'd ask you. (Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.) Then tell me who's playing left field. (Who's playing first.) I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field? (No, What is on second.) I'm not asking you who's on second. (Who's on first!) I don't know. [Together:] Third base! (Third base!) The left fielder's name? (Why.) Because! (Oh, he's center field.)[pause] Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? (Sure.) The pitcher's name? (Tomorrow.)
